


Catch and Release

by Pondfrost (AkitsuneLune)



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Angst, Dark Forest (Warriors), Dark Forest Battle (Warriors), Drama, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Happily Ever After, Hurt/Comfort, In the most PG way I promise, No Sex, Romance, Running away and being gay on a farm is actually very common practice in the Clans, Song Lyrics, Trans Heathertail, Transphobic Onestar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkitsuneLune/pseuds/Pondfrost
Summary: Heatherpaw pushes boundaries. It’s doubly fun to get her thrills from outside the borders and to make her father’s muzzle turn gray. But what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? A chance encounter at a Gathering pits the gorgeous, cocky Minnowpaw against the self-assured Heatherpaw in bet of love. Neither apprentice expects to fall so hard and they race to protect their hearts against being seen, no matter how much they yearn to finally open up completely to another that might truly understand.
Relationships: Heathertail/Lionblaze (Warriors), Minnowtail/Heathertail (Warriors), Minnowtail/Mousewhisker (Warriors)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 43





	1. Just Another Fling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to Catch and Release, a three-shot focused on Heathertail and Minnowtail. The next part will be published two days from now!

Heatherpaw stood up and shook out her pelt, trying to acclimate herself to the overpowering scent of heather. It was Kestrelpaw’s newest idea for how to mask Heatherpaw’s natural scent and it had _seemed_ like a good idea to the young she-cat until she was actually chest-deep in the flowers, wriggling around, and sneezing at the pollen that settled over her thin brown fur.

Kestrelpaw’s voice sounded through the clump when he asked, “Did it work?”

“Judge for yourself,” she responded, stepping out and sneezing again, then shook out her pelt. She cast a mournful look over her ruffled flank, the careful grooming of this morning completely ruined before sun-high.

The black and white tom sniffed the air, looking thoughtful, then his face split into a grin. “I can’t scent it at all! You just smell like a cat who’s been attacked by a bush.”

“Great,” Heatherpaw snorted, but a rush of euphoria bubbled up in her chest. _Better to stink of the moor than to smell like a tom._ “Then I guess I’ll just have to roll in the bushes every morning for the rest of my life.”

Kestrelpaw shrugged good-naturedly. They’d been working on a fix for Heatherpaw’s scent for a moon, and he wasn’t going to let any small success go by without celebration. “Just do it on the dawn patrol. Aren’t you pleased?”  
Heatherpaw tried to hide her smile but Kestrelpaw didn’t miss how her tail curled up with delight. “Maybe a little.”

Kestrelpaw bumped her shoulder and they padded back to camp together before Crowfeather or Barkface noticed they had been gone. Barkface knew of Heatherpaw’s situation, and Heatherpaw was pretty sure that Crowfeather had guessed after she started consciously changing her voice, but she didn’t want her mentor getting on her case for avoiding training. Even if he didn’t do it in front of the Clan, she knew that _somehow_ it would get back to Onestar and there would be another talk about ‘Making him proud’ and ‘Being the son he needs.’

Heatherpaw had learned very, very early on that Onestar was going to be disappointed no matter what she did, and decided to actively try to make her father’s muzzle turn gray prematurely around the same time. She thought of Lionpaw with a thrill. It was only a matter of time before Onestar would find out, and she thought that might definitely put another of her father’s paws into his grave.

Besides delighting in that it would give her father a heart condition, she genuinely liked meeting Lionpaw in the tunnels. ThunderClan cats were so mouse-brained that she knew he couldn’t tell the difference between the scent of a WindClan she-cat or tom, and relied on indicators that were within Heatherpaw’s control. He was good fun, too, if a bit slow; he wasn’t afraid to tease her back like Harepaw, he didn’t become sour and fed-up with their games when he lost like Breezepaw, and he wasn’t stuck in the medicine den most days like Kestrelpaw.

Her tail flicked excitedly when she thought of sneaking out again tonight to see him.

“What are you thinking about?” Kestrelpaw asked.

She put on a mysterious expression. “My plans for tonight.”

“At the Gathering?”

“What?”

Kestrelpaw snorted. “You are never allowed to call me oblivious ever again. The full-moon is tonight, fluff-brain, and if we aren’t confined to camp for being late to training, I think we’re going to be attending.”

Heatherpaw blinked. _Mouse-dung!_ “I knew that. I was thinking about what I’m going to do at the Gathering, like you said.”

Kestrelpaw evidently didn’t believe a word she said, but snorted again and moved on. “Look out, ThunderClan, Heatherpaw’s on the prowl again. Who are you after this time? Mousepaw? Berrypaw?”

Heatherpaw said nothing, just smiled. Kestrelpaw’s jaw dropped.

“Jaypaw?! Watch out, he’s a piece of work.”

She scoffed. “If I wanted a prickly badger, I’d chase Breezepaw. No, I’ve got bigger plans.”

“Poor Lionpaw,” Kestrelpaw sighed.

She wrinkled her nose at her friend as they reached the camp and parted. _Does he really think I’d move on so fast?_ Just because it was fun to look beyond Clan borders for excitement and it made Onestar’s whiskers fall out didn’t mean she would hop from tom to tom quite so quickly. Lionpaw hadn’t begun to wring his paws about the code, and Heatherpaw wasn’t tired of his quirks yet, so why would she run off? She wasn’t doing any harm, except maybe to Onestar’s sanity.

When the disappointment of not being able to meet him in the tunnels that night wore off, Heatherpaw decided it could be great fun to see him at a Gathering instead. They would pretend to hardly know each other and no cat would be the wiser. Except Kestrelpaw, maybe, but as mouse-brained as her friend could be sometimes, he never let a secret slip.

Crowfeather was in a good mood for the first time in her entire apprenticeship, and didn’t bat an eye at her turning up half-way to sun-high stinking of heather. Heatherpaw could hardly believe her luck, but wasn’t going to let the chance slip and made sure to relish every heartbeat of semi-freedom during their training that day. Crowfeather told Breezepaw to be quiet when he was bossing her around while sparring, and even praised her after she executed a tricky new move perfectly after a few tries.

_Who are you and what have you done with Crowfeather?_ she wondered, but didn’t question it too much. _Well, don’t argue with StarClan’s blessings._

As Kestrelpaw predicted, they were chosen for the Gathering patrol. Even better, Breezepaw was stuck at camp. Heatherpaw tried not to gloat too much, but privately decided it was her lucky day. _What’s going to happen next? Onestar will fall off the tree-bridge and Lionpaw will stop doing that little sniff-thing in the middle of his sentences?_

When she reached the island and joined the small knot of apprentices on the outskirts of the trees, neither of her predictions had come true. Onestar’s fur was dry and he stood stiffly atop a lower branch, and...

“Hi Heatherpaw! How’s”— _sniff!_ —“prey running in WindClan?”

Heatherpaw gave the golden tom a conspiratorial smile and answered, “Pretty well. Lionpaw, is it?”

He gave an unsubtle grin and nodded. “And this is my sister Hollypaw.”

Heatherpaw nodded to the spiky black she-cat, who regarded her with unblinking green eyes. She seemed quite immune to Heatherpaw’s charm, which was fine by Heatherpaw. She’d heard enough about Hollypaw’s stuck-up, clean-paw ways to know that she wasn’t interested either.

She was saved from an awkward silence by a gray RiverClan tom, Pebblepaw, bounding over to them.

“Pebblepaw!” she greeted him, eager to move her attention off of Hollypaw’s unreadable stare. “Is your sister finally allowed out of camp?”

Pebblepaw groaned. “Yeah, she’s here. I think she’s already off terrorizing ThunderClan, though.”

The elusive Minnowpaw had been hyped up in Heatherpaw’s mind ever since her first Gathering, at which Pebblepaw had been quick to explain that his sister _would_ have been there, had it not been for an _incident_. Heatherpaw had drunk in the stories of Minnowpaw’s escapades, delighted to hear of a she-cat who seemed to share Heatherpaw’s own thrill-seeking ways. She tried not to show her excitement at learning that she would finally meet Pebblepaw’s outrageous sister.

“Who’s your sister?” Hollypaw asked, a disapproving wrinkle already forming in her nose.

“Where to start, honestly,” Pebblepaw sighed. Heatherpaw let out a _mrrow_ of amusement, knowing that Pebblepaw was only too pleased to have another excuse to rant about his littermate’s exploits. “She’s such a furball. Poor Mallowpaw and Mintpaw. They’ve both been throwing themselves at her for moons, but Minnowpaw won’t bother with any tom in her own Clan.”

Heatherpaw found terrible glee in the way Hollypaw’s eyes widened and horror crossed her face.

“She’s been after one of yours recently,” Pebblepaw went on, pointing his tail at the ThunderClan crowd. “Mousepaw?”

Hollypaw’s look of shock only grew. “What? But Mousepaw’s loyal! He would never—”

“They wouldn’t be doing any harm, really,” Lionpaw interrupted his sister, shooting another obvious look at Heatherpaw. “They’re just apprentices.”

“It’s against the _code!_ ” Hollypaw answered fiercely and Heatherpaw rolled her eyes.

“I’d like to meet her,” she declared, ignoring Hollypaw’s scandalized stare.

Pebblepaw grimaced. “You’ll get your wish. She’s coming this way.”

Heatherpaw craned her neck, feeling anticipation build. _Alright, Minnowpaw. Let’s see if you live up to the stories._

As if StarClan themselves had planned it, just as a shadowed form broke away from ThunderClan’s clump, a cloud shifted and a moonbeam shot down into the Gathering clearing, illuminating her.

Minnowpaw was gorgeous, and Heatherpaw’s expectant smile turned into a slack-jawed amazement as the apprentice strolled over. Her chest and belly were white as a frosted river, and thick gray fur covered her back, flecked with black. Most unexpectedly lovely of all were her eyes. Heatherpaw had drunk her fill of pale blue and limpid green from RiverClanners, and was taken aback to notice that Minnowpaw’s were neither; instead, a gaze made of rich amber, like the coiled honey that Kestrelpaw had earned several beestings collecting last moon met her own, a sparkle of unflappable amusement in their sunset depths.

Heatherpaw swallowed quickly, trying to tear her gaze away, and found she had some difficulty accomplishing that. Still, she rallied her own composure. _She isn’t the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen,_ she told herself, though she was having trouble remembering who could compare, let alone surpass. _And of course she’s stunning, how else would she be working her way through the hearts of half the Clans?_

“Hey,” was all Minnowpaw said as she stopped in front of the apprentices.

“How’s Mousepaw?” Hollypaw burst out reproachfully.

Minnowpaw’s mouth tugged up at one side in a crooked smirk, then gave the ThunderClan she-cat a shrug. “I don’t know. This is my first Gathering, I just met him.”

Heatherpaw couldn’t help an answering grin at the other she-cat’s bald-faced lie. Minnowpaw blinked innocently at Hollypaw, who bit off a growl and stalked away. Then Minnowpaw turned that golden gaze Heatherpaw’s way.

“I’m—”

“Minnowpaw, I know,” Heatherpaw finished, too much fizzing energy in her paws to bother letting the other she-cat finish her sentence. _Cool it, Heatherpaw_ , she told herself firmly, but rather than being put off by Heatherpaw’s forwardness, Minnowpaw cocked her head, interest glittering in her eyes.

“Then it seems I’m at a disadvantage, because I don’t know who you are. What’s your name, and why do you smell so strongly of heather?”

Now that the focus was on herself, Heatherpaw felt a little control return. “I’m Heatherpaw, and I roll in it daily for the thematic appropriateness.”

This got a purr out of her, as bright and sparkling as a new-leaf downpour. “That’s amazing. I would eat exclusively minnows if that wouldn’t cause me to starve to death.”

“I’m Lionpaw!” the tom exclaimed and Heatherpaw abruptly remembered they weren’t alone. “Pebblepaw”— _sniff!_ —“was just telling us about you!”

Minnowpaw shot a look at her brother, but her tail still swept the dirt with an air of nonchalance. “Hmm, poisoning my reputation before I get a chance to speak for myself? That explains why _she_ ran off at the sight of me.”

Heatherpaw grinned. “Hollypaw’s a bit uptight.”

Lionpaw hung his head and gave a long sigh. “She’s my sister, and I shouldn’t say anything mean about her behind her back… but Heatherpaw’s not wrong.”

“I rarely am,” she put in, unable to help herself. Again, rather than turning up her nose at Heatherpaw’s self-aggrandizing commentary, Minnowpaw narrowed her eyes with interest.

“Is that so?”

“Like father like daughter,” Pebblepaw snorted at Heatherpaw, who glared at him. _Great, now Minnowpaw will think I’m some stuck-up kit of a leader._

Inexplicably, yet more curiosity showed in Minnowpaw’s expression. Her ears swivelled in Heatherpaw’s direction and Minnowpaw inched closer. “Who’s your father?”

“Let all cats gather beneath StarClan!” Onestar yowled. Heatherpaw, if only to shift some of Minnowpaw’s intoxicating attention, flicked her tail at the tree in the centre of the clearing. Minnowpaw let out an amused yelp.

“That must be a pain in the tail.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Heatherpaw grumbled, wishing she could melt in shame at the way Onestar, at the last moment, scrambled further up the tree to stand on a branch higher than the other leaders.

“You should tell me,” Minnowpaw whispered, taking a step back suddenly. “I think I might be able to sympathize more than you’d expect.”

“Oh, really?” Heatherpaw snorted, affecting aloofness despite her growing interest. It seemed that Minnowpaw might prove everything Heatherpaw hoped and more. She took a step back into the bushes with the other apprentice. “Is Leopardstar your mother? Isn’t she a bit old?”

They left Lionpaw and Pebblepaw to listen to the leaders as they retreated into the outer bushes of the Gathering island, padding further and further away from the clearing until they found the pebbly beach.

“No,” Minnowpaw groaned. “I’m the grandkit of our deputy, Mistyfoot.”

_Well, I’ve still got her beat._ “That’s tough.”

“Exactly.” Minnowpaw shook her head, looking grave. “I expect you’re one of the few cats who can understand what ridiculous standards are on us.”

Heatherpaw was floored to hear the other she-cat speak so openly about the kind of problems that Heatherpaw would hardly dare tell her closest friends about. Somehow, though, more than being shocked, she was further inclined to open up to her. _She’s right. Hardly any cat knows the kind of pressure I’m under._ We’re _under._

“What about Lionpaw?” Minnowpaw asked.

Heatherpaw blinked. “What about him?”

“Oh, come on.” Minnowpaw purred. “My brother might be a fish-brain, but I’m not. There’s something going on there, isn’t there?”  
“There was,” Heatherpaw allowed. _After tonight, I might be done with him though._ She was finding him a little more tiresome with each subsequent encounter.

Minnowpaw cocked her head. “And? Was it worth it?”

She contemplated the fun they’d had in the tunnels, and then imagined Minnowpaw focusing her own charms on the golden tom. Something in her chest protested, so she forced herself to sling her shoulder up in a similarly unconcerned gesture. “Not really. He’s pretty dull.”

Minnowpaw gave a sympathetic sigh. “I know exactly what you mean. I don’t think there’s a ThunderClan tom who’s had an original thought in his life.”

Heatherpaw let out a _mrrow_ of amusement at that. “I suppose you’d know. How’s Mousepaw?”

The other she-cat rolled onto her back, flinging a paw across her own face. “Dreadfully boring, I’m afraid. He does a disservice to all gray and white cats out there.”

At the mention of his pelt, Heatherpaw raised an eyebrow. “Did you go after him because he looks like you?”

Minnowpaw’s whiskers twitched, which was all the answer Heatherpaw needed. She let out a yelp of laughter and shook her head.

“You are _astonishingly_ vain,” she remarked, confidence growing that she wouldn’t scare Minnowpaw off just by pushing boundaries a little. “I should have guessed, but getting involved with a tom because he’s the closest you’ll get to being with yourself is a whole other level.”

Minnowpaw jumped to her paws and thrust her muzzle in Heatherpaw’s face, reacting unexpectedly strongly to the teasing. Her amber eyes sparked. “Maybe so, but at least I don’t roll around in flowers every morning. You really do stink, you know.”

Heatherpaw tried not to breathe too deeply as the other she-cat’s scent wreathed around her, and shot back, “Better back up, then, or you’ll make yourself sick with my scent. Unless you’re lying, and you’re looking for a good sniff.”

“It’s not your scent I’m interested in,” Minnowpaw breathed, her eyes boring into Heatherpaw. Her pelt felt hot very suddenly, and she quashed the urge to pull away. Minnowpaw stared at her, such intensity in her eyes that Heatherpaw felt as though she might be melted from the sheer strength of it, before Minnowpaw very suddenly stepped back. Heatherpaw’s head reeled. “Your eyes. They’re blue, aren’t they?”

_What?_ She didn’t have an answer for that.

Minnowpaw squinted at her. “I can’t… hmm. Cats don’t have purple eyes. It must be a trick of the light.”

“You wanted to tell my _eye-colour?_ ” Heatherpaw snorted. “You could’ve asked. No need to trample me.”

“But then I wouldn’t have found out how cute you are when you’re flustered,” Minnowpaw replied without missing a beat, then commented, “Is that how you snagged Lionpaw?”

Heatherpaw could hardly believe the audacity of her. Still, though, she definitely wasn’t disappointed; Pebblepaw’s stories were living up to the real thing. “You’re unbelievable,” she admitted.

“Thank you!” Minnowpaw exclaimed. “I try. I’m so disappointed about Lionpaw, though! Mousepaw said he was good fun. But maybe that’s not a surprise. Mousepaw would think a large pebble is good fun.”  
Heatherpaw was startled at the cold analysis, though it didn’t bother her yet. “I wonder if all ThunderClan toms are like that.”

Minnowpaw released a long-suffering sigh. “Berrypaw wasn’t, until he started getting cold paws. I should go find Honeypaw and charm her. That would teach him.”

_Outrageous, rebellious, grandkit of the deputy, gorgeous, and nasty,_ Heatherpaw decided. It was a distractingly captivating combination, and Heatherpaw tried to pull away a bit. “If she’s padding after Berrypaw, then you’re probably her type.”

Minnowpaw frowned. “I like to think I’m a little more self-aware than Berrypaw.”

Heatherpaw’s doubt must have been evident, because Minnowpaw grinned, her white teeth catching the moonlight.

“Really, I am! I’m vain, cruel, and flighty, for starters,” she said as simply as if they were discussing how prey was running. “I could stand to be a little less egotistical, even though I _am_ about as irresistible as they come. I lose interest in cats the second they show interest back, which is always pretty quick. What else?”

Heatherpaw was too stunned to add to the list, but recovered enough to comment, “You seem to have that ready.”

She tossed her head. “I always need it to convince whoever I’m with to run. So, I guess I’ll see you never.”

“Huh?” Heatherpaw’s brain took a heartbeat to catch up. “I’m not running. I already knew all that.”

“Oh yeah? That’s a first.” Minnowpaw grinned, and didn’t seem to quite believe her. Heatherpaw raised her chin.

“It’s not hard to notice. You chased a tom because he looked like you, you told me, a cat you hardly know, that you think he’s boring, and your ego is so big that there’s hardly room for me to stand.”

Minnowpaw crowed with delight at the frank evaluation, quite different to how she reacted to Heatherpaw calling her vain earlier. _What is with her?_ Heatherpaw wondered. _She’s so strange._

“And how did you know I’m flighty?” Minnowpaw challenged. “First you’ll need to say that you can’t live without me, then I’ll run off and you’ll _really_ know how flighty I am.”

Heatherpaw snorted, then felt a little competitive spirit flare to life in her chest. _Two can play at this game._ She leaned closer to Minnowpaw, gazing into her eyes with half-lidded, false devotion, and murmured, “I can’t live without you.”

Minnowpaw jerked away as if Heatherpaw had struck her, eyes wide, then tried to play it off with a snort. “Great StarClan! No wonder Lionpaw looked at you like a lost kit. That was…”

Heatherpaw pulled away as well and frowned. _Is she making fun of me?_ “You’ve had more practice than me,” she defended herself.

“Of course,” Minnowpaw agreed good-naturedly, eyes flashing with amusement. “And that’s not even mentioning my natural talent. But I think you could rival me if you practiced a little more.”

Heatherpaw shook out her pelt, feeling like she’d crossed a line. “Well, maybe I don’t want to.”

Minnowpaw pouted. “Aw, c’mon. It’s fun!”

“Then why do you seem so tired of Mousepaw and the rest of them?” Heatherpaw challenged. “Why are you here, talking to me instead?”

Minnowpaw flashed another smile. “Maybe you’re my next target.”

“Fat chance,” Heatherpaw exclaimed. “You could use every one of your tricks on me and I wouldn’t turn into one of your simpering devotees. I know your flaws too well to be distracted by a wink and some pretty words.”

Minnowpaw let out a _mrrow_ of laughter. “You don’t think that my flaws would _endear_ me to you? And don’t discount pretty words so fast. I haven’t even compared your eyes to the dusk sky yet.”

“You’ll have to try harder than that.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Minnowpaw asked, cocking her head and giving Heatherpaw an expectant look. “Why don’t you _make_ me try harder?”

Heatherpaw finally cracked a grin. _Back in control._ “Because I will never, ever fall for you, so you can spend all your time chasing me. You’ll never get bored if you never win.”

Minnowpaw’s answering smile was dark as the night sky. “A chase that never ends, eh?”

“An impossible task,” Heatherpaw agreed, already steeling herself against the alluring gleam of the she-cat’s eyes.

“Nothing’s impossible for me,” Minnowpaw answered cockily.

_Well, she’s already doing terribly,_ Heatherpaw told herself, ignoring the thump of her heartbeat. _I don’t like arrogance._ Still, the prospect of a never-ending fling was enticing. Having a cat as unpredictable and riotous as a wildfire completely focused on her would be exciting, if nothing else. _And I know I’m going to win,_ Heatherpaw thought as Minnowpaw examined her, still plainly amused. _I’d never fall for such a vain, shameless flirt._

_Just Another Fling_

Their game was put on hold the very next Gathering.

Minnowpaw crossed the clearing to Heatherpaw, feigning a light mood, but Heatherpaw knew something was wrong the instant she spotted a RiverClan queen with honest-to-StarClan _kits_ at her feet.

“Heatherpaw—” Minnowpaw began with forced cheeriness, but Heatherpaw cut to the heart of the matter immediately.

“What’s going on? Why is your whole Clan here?” Heatherpaw demanded.

Uncertainty crossed Minnowpaw’s face and she faltered, stopping in front of Heatherpaw a couple fox-lengths away. “I… I’m sure Leopardstar will explain.”

Heatherpaw couldn’t help the concern that pricked her pelt. “But what happened? Are you okay?”

Minnowpaw flinched away, once again trying to play it off. “What, so scared for my safety?” She purred, but it was a tight, clipped sound. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me already.”

“Don’t be mouse-brained,” Heatherpaw snapped. “This is about more than just… just _us_ , it looks like RiverClan’s in real trouble.”

Her amber gaze darted sideways again, back at the too-large group of RiverClan cats. “Well… I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about it. Maybe we should put this on hold until everything is sorted out.”

It was a sensible suggestion, but Heatherpaw still found herself wishing Minnowpaw’s strange vulnerability would show itself again. She repeated, “Are you okay?”

Minnowpaw opened her jaws, probably to make another smart comment about Heatherpaw’s enamoured state, but then caught the other apprentice’s gaze and paused. Finally, she told her, “Yeah. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Heatherpaw hovered between wanting things to return to normal and wanting to know the truth for a heartbeat, then said, “You can tell me if you’re not. I’m not going to run off to tell my father, you know.”

Minnowpaw purrs, a real one this time, and answers, “Yeah, I know. And likewise, even though WindClan’s _totally fine_ , right?”

_Well, I guess I can’t ask her for honesty without giving some myself._ “Every cat else is. Lionpaw broke it off.”

That got another real reaction out of her. “Really? I thought you said last Gathering that it was already over.”

Heatherpaw felt her tail droop. “I thought it was. Apparently I cared more than I realized.” A confession like that in WindClan would have been monumental, but Minnowpaw took it in stride.

“That’s too bad,” she murmured, and closed the distance between them to rest her muzzle on Heatherpaw’s shoulder. Heatherpaw wasn’t sure whether it was a ploy to initiate physical contact, but decided she didn’t really care; the other she-cat was warm and her pelt was soft and comforting, and if Minnowpaw was going to offer herself up as a body to hide Heatherpaw’s face in, Heatherpaw would take it.

“He was so mouse-brained,” Heatherpaw huffed, finally pulling away. “Why did I get so upset?”

Minnowpaw shrugged, eyes misting with some memory. “One of the world’s mysteries, I guess. But hey, if you need a rebound or just a shoulder to cry on…”

Heatherpaw snorted. “Thanks.”

“I mean it.” Minnowpaw blinked at Heatherpaw, who immediately tried to guard herself against the genuine look in the other she-cat’s eye. “This game is fun, but if you need a real friend as well, I’m here.”

She found the idea unexpectedly appealing. “Alright. Good to know. And likewise,” she echoed.

Minnowpaw grinned, back to her cocksure self. “Oh, don’t offer up your ear too quickly. I have never-ending woes; where to begin? Well, Reedwhisker told me yesterday that just because I was his kit, it didn’t mean that I should get—”

“I take it back!” Heatherpaw exclaimed, slapping her tail over Minnowpaw’s muzzle and letting out a purr. “Keep it all inside, that’s what WindClan cats do. Let it eat away at you.”

“That seems tremendously unhealthy,” Minnowpaw purred when Heatherpaw’s tail fell away. “You should be like a RiverClanner; tell every cat all your secrets and look for external validation at all costs.”

Heatherpaw snorted. “Wow, that’s a much better way to do things. I think _certain_ cats’ hearts would give out if they knew my secrets.”

Minnowpaw’s tail curled up with amusement. “Your father would drop dead on the spot. I wish I knew some of your secrets; you seem like you have a lot tucked away in that skinny little body.”

Heatherpaw gave the other she-cat a shove. “Hey! I’m not that skinny, you’re just surrounded by your fat Clanmates and you’ve forgotten what real cats look like. And you’ll never know my secrets. They wouldn’t be secrets if I went around telling every cat, would they?”  
“You lump me in with ‘every cat?’” Minnowpaw gasped with fake outrage. “I thought we had something _special!_ ”

“Dream on,” Heatherpaw retorted. “You haven’t even made my top ten cats.”

“Like him?” Minnowpaw asked, a teasing gleam in her eyes, and flicked her tail at Breezepaw, who was currently stalking over to them.

Heatherpaw swallowed a grimace at the sight of him. Breezepaw was bearable in small doses, provided he wasn’t around Crowfeather, Whitetail, or a cat from another Clan. Unfortunately, as soon as Breezepaw spotted Minnowpaw, his hackles raised.

“Who are you?” he asked, shoving his muzzle in Minnowpaw’s face.

The RiverClan she-cat was unfazed and merely cocked her head in a gesture that Heatherpaw had begun to associate with her. “Who are _you?_ ”  
“Answer me, fish-face,” Breezepaw snapped. Heatherpaw shot him a quelling look that did less than nothing.

“I’m Minnowpaw, hare-brain,” she answered with a mocking smile.

_These two getting into a fight is going to go poorly,_ Heatherpaw thought as Breezepaw’s lips drew back in a snarl. _And why does he always get angry when cats respond to his hostility with more hostility? Not all of us have the bottomless patience for you that Nightcloud has._

“Breezepaw, we should go,” she said hastily. “Gathering’s started. See you around.” She flicked her tail at Minnowpaw and practically pried Breezepaw away from her.

Still, as she sat beside the hissing black tom, ears pricked to hear Leopardstar’s explanation for the presence of her whole Clan, she couldn’t help her gaze sliding back toward Minnowpaw’s moonlit frame. Now that Heatherpaw was away from her, Minnowpaw’s shoulders had slumped a little and the she-cat looked more weary than Heatherpaw had seen her. _She wasn’t putting on a strong front for my sake, was she?_ Heatherpaw wondered, worried, then brushed it off. _Of course she was, mouse-brain. You’re from another Clan and she didn’t want you to know that RiverClan was struggling._

She couldn’t so easily brush off the sting that accompanied that thought, however. _I trust her. Even if she is RiverClan, and flighty and vain and mean and all that. I’ve already told her things that Kestrelpaw doesn’t know._ She had explained it away to herself with the excuses that Minnowpaw was also the daughter of leadership and that Minnowpaw’s own oversharing had let Heatherpaw’s guard down, but… Heatherpaw couldn’t deny that even now, clear-headed and away from Minnowpaw’s influence, she wanted to share more with the she-cat. _She said she wanted to know my secrets,_ she reminded herself. _Maybe she’s trying to get dirt on WindClan._

That was such a ridiculous idea that Heatherpaw almost audibly snorted, then stopped herself, mindful of Breezepaw’s presence. _What would Breezepaw think of me and Minnowpaw?_ she wondered. _Never mind Onestar, Breezepaw’s fur would all turn white and then fall out from the shock._ He was harmless, for all his standoffishness, she decided. He just put on the front of being as prickly as a porcupine to stop anyone from noticing how desperate he was for his father’s praise and attention.

_Then I wonder why Minnowpaw puts on that flirtatious and egotistical front._ She cast her gaze over to her again, reflecting on the way Minnowpaw’s gaze rested fixedly on Graymist’s kits and Icewing’s pregnant belly. _She’s not totally self-absorbed, is she? It’s an act. She cares a lot about her Clan, otherwise she wouldn’t have been so defensive when I asked._

And then there was the way she reacted when Heatherpaw called her vain. _Was that another act, or did she actually get upset? Because when I said she had a big ego, she found it funny. She was_ pleased _that I called her mean and egotistical. How does that square with being furious with a different accusation?_ She shook her head, trying to turn her attention back to the leaders. _What a mess of contradictions._

But instead of wanting to write her off, Heatherpaw found herself drawn to the apprentice again. _What kind of cat is she under all that bravado? Her frustration with Reedwhisker seemed genuine, didn’t it?_ Maybe she would never really know. The thought made her unexpectedly sad. _How many cats really know Minnowpaw? She’s certainly put herself on display through Pebblepaw, but a version of herself that she revels in. No cat is actually like that at their core, are they? Who’s the real Minnowpaw?_

Minnowpaw turned then, and caught Heatherpaw’s gaze. Rather than being embarrassed to be caught staring, Heatherpaw looked deeply into her eyes, searching. _Who are you?_ Minnowpaw blinked, taken aback at the intense look, and for a heartbeat, seemed truly bared to Heatherpaw. She was scared. Whatever Leopardstar wasn’t telling the other Clans, it had Minnowpaw worried. And _that_ made Heatherpaw worried for the other apprentice. _Think of your own Clan,_ she told herself, but her gaze still lingered on Minnowpaw’s outline. Lionpaw’s rejection felt a good deal less serious now that she was occupied with thoughts of Minnowpaw’s future. As she jumped down from the tree-bridge, thoughts of Minnowpaw’s true self and RiverClan’s predicament plagued her, stubbornly refusing to fade.

_Just Another Fling_

“You look great,” Kestrelpaw assured her as Heatherpaw twisted to smooth another tuft of fur on her shoulder.

“I want to look _perfect_ ,” Heatherpaw retorted. “You only get one warrior ceremony.”

Kestrelpaw snorted. “Whatever you say.”

Heatherpaw ignored him and continued her relentless grooming, briskly running a paw over each ear and then attacking her shoulder again. Her father leapt atop the Tallrock and called every cat over. Heatherpaw increased the speed of her grooming, before finally stopping so that she could actually participate in her own ceremony.

“I, Onestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior in their turn,” he began imperiously. “Heatherpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?”

“I do!” Heatherpaw declared.

Heathertail decided she was pleased with her name. As a kit, she had been desperate for a feminine name like Heatherflower or Heatherheart, but over the course of her apprenticeship, as more and more of her Clanmates accepted that she wasn’t a tom and more of the ‘tactics’ she and Kestrelpaw developed merely became facts of her life, she had outgrown that hope. Heathertail was a good name. Practical, smooth, and neat. It suited her, she thought.

Minnow _tail_ was over the moon to find out. They had begun to meet outside of Gatherings, and the night after her vigil, Heathertail made her way to the RiverClan border. Minnowtail had earned her name only a few days before, and they celebrated that night together, racing through the groves and hills that marked the border before coming to a breathless stop.

Minnowtail rolled onto her back easily, showing her belly without a second thought, and looked up at the stars. “Look!” she gasped.

Only hesitating for a heartbeat, Heathertail also dropped to the earth and turned over to stare up. It was a darker night than they’d had in moons, leaf-fall’s shortening days meaning the sun’s rays faded more completely, and the stars glowed in a swathe of bright points of light overhead.

“What?” Heathertail asked, not seeing anything out of the ordinary in the vast, dark sky.

“There!” Minnowtail exclaimed.

Then Heathertail saw it. A shooting star, arcing through the darkness. Another joined it, slipping between its companions and then out of sight in a heartbeat of movement. A third, then a fourth, and Heathertail watched, amazed at the sight.

“Do you think it’s a sign?” she asked.

“Of what?” Minnowtail replied with a purr. “Maybe it’s just beautiful.”

Heathertail fell silent, reflecting on those words. _Maybe it’s just beautiful._ She sneaked a gaze at Minnowtail, whose white fur glowed like starlight in the full moon. Minnowtail’s round amber eyes were bright with kit-like joy as she watched the star shower, and something Heathertail didn’t want to put a name to swelled in her chest.

“Thanks, StarClan,” Minnowtail purred contentedly a while later. “That was amazing.”

“It was,” she whispered, and tore her eyes away from the other she-cat to look back up at the stars. “All our Clanmates probably missed it.”

Minnowtail made a noise of agreement, then nudged Heathertail. “Just think, if you hadn’t made that silly dare at that Gathering, we never would have seen it either.”

Heathertail snorted. “You were the one who wanted to see if I would fall in love with you.”

“Nope, pretty sure it was your idea,” Minnowtail replied, then added, “I guess I failed, didn’t I? Look, I’ll brush my pelt with mine and you won’t even swoon.” Minnowtail wriggled closer, pressing her body to Heathertail’s, and purred when Heathertail failed to faint.

No, Heathertail didn’t swoon at Minnowtail’s touch anymore. Nor did she hold her breath when Minnowtail held her gaze, eyes warm, and she certainly didn’t lose her train of thought when Minnowtail tilted her head to one side with that little thoughtful look that she got when she encountered something she didn’t understand.

“No, I won’t,” Heathertail confirmed. “I must be completely immune to your charms.”

Minnowtail grumbled. “Will you cuddle with me anyway? It’s too cold to be lying on the ground alone.”

With a heavy sigh, Heathertail rolled over and wrapped her tail around Minnowtail’s. “Fiiine. You know, WindClan cats sleep outside even in leaf-bare.”

“That explains why you’re so cold-hearted,” Minnowtail groaned, poking Heathertail’s belly with one soft paw. “I bet your heart isn’t even skipping a beat right now.”

It wasn’t, but from the proximity of the other she-cat, it was certainly beating a little quicker. Heathertail huffed a laugh. “My heart isn’t cold or skipping a beat. It’s just pumping blood like it’s supposed to.”

“You’re so _literal_ ,” Minnowtail sighed, her breath tickling Heathertail’s whiskers. “Where did your romance go? Did Crowfeather beat it out of you? He seems like he’d be a terrible mentor.”

Heathertail mused on that for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t know. He was the only one I ever had.”

“I got bounced around,” Minnowtail admitted. “First it was Icewing, then she moved to the nursery and I got Voletooth, and then he retired and I got Pouncetail, my father’s old apprentice.”

“Wow,” Heathertail said. “Who did you like best?”

Minnowtail hummed thoughtfully. “Probably Icewing. She liked me and actually told me I was doing a good job. Voletooth didn’t say much of anything, and Pouncetail thought I already had... too much self-esteem.”

“Wonder where he got that idea,” Heathertail teased, and Minnowtail frowned. “Sorry. Didn’t mean it,” Heathertail quickly added when Minnowtail didn’t make any kind of smart retort.

“You’re probably right,” Minnowtail mumbled, and Heathertail’s heart began to hammer when she realized that she might finally get what she had wondered about so long ago. It seemed easier for Minnowtail when Heathertail wasn’t looking directly at her, so Heathertail lowered her head and cast her gaze off into the darkness, watching a beetle crawl over the earth in front of her nose. “It’s annoying, isn’t it? I started doing it when I was kit because I thought… I don’t know. That if cats didn’t like me for something that wasn’t _really_ me, then they didn’t actually dislike me. Does that make any sense?”

Heathertail mulled it over. “I think so. If every cat hated you because you acted like you had a big ego and you were really vain, but you secretly weren’t like that at all, then you could explain away why cats hate you.”

“Exactly.” Relief was evident in Minnowtail’s voice. “We should cuddle more often, you’re very wise when you’re stabbing your hindlegs into my belly.”

“I’m sorry!” Heathertail exclaimed, pulling her torso to one side to uncover the other she-cat’s belly. Minnowtail just twitched her whiskers in amusement and let out a soft sigh. Heathertail began to think about their previous exchange once the embarrassment had faded. “But why don’t you just act like yourself? Why do you want cats to hate you?”

Minnowtail protested, “I don’t _want_ cats to hate me.”

“Yes, you do,” Heathertail argued, still watching the beetle’s journey into the bush that laid across the clearing from them. “Why would you act like a fox-heart if you didn’t want cats to hate you?”

“Because…” Minnowtail sighed. “Because they won’t like who I am anyway, so I might as well get them to hate me for something I’m not.”

Heathertail considered that silently for a few long heartbeats, then answered, “That’s a load of fox-dung. If you’ve been acting like that since you were a kit, how do you know cats won’t like who you are?”

“What? I…” Minnowtail frowned again, and Heathertail took the opportunity to poke her neck with her muzzle.

“I know you, and I still like you,” she told Minnowtail honestly. “I don’t think you’re going to scare off every cat if you just act like a normal cat instead of this puffed-up character.”

Minnowtail huffed. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do,” Heathertail argued. “You didn’t scare off me, and you stopped putting on that whole act moons ago.”

“Did I…?” Minnowtail asked, uncertainty in her gaze. “When?”  
_When?_ Heathertail snorted. “I don’t know exactly when, maybe it wasn’t _moons_ ago, but you definitely don’t act the same as when I first met you.”

Minnowtail considered that, then said, “Well, maybe you’re different.”

“Fox-dung to that too,” Heathertail told her cheerfully. “I think your normal self is great, and I know I wouldn’t be the only one if you just gave other cats a chance.”

Heathertail was speaking more plainly than she ever did to her Clanmates she knew, but she also knew that things were different in RiverClan. Saying such honest, heartfelt things was expected, and Heathertail was still adjusting to the idea that she could simply tell Minnowtail things and Minnowtail wouldn’t be shocked.

“But…” Minnowtail sighed, and her breath tickled Heathertail’s ears again. Heathertail thought she could hear the gray and white she-cat’s heartbeat through her pelt, and felt a surge of warmth brought on by merely being so close to another cat. “But what if the real me is… boring?”  
Knowing that the confession was very personal for Minnowtail, Heathertail swallowed an incredulous laugh. Still, she couldn’t help finding the idea that any cat would find _Minnowtail_ boring absolutely ridiculous. “That’s impossible,” she promised. “Even if you’re not _outlandish_ by RiverClan standards, you’d still make any WindClan cat look like a weird-shaped boulder in a comparison of personalities. And besides, what’s so bad about being boring? My father wanted me to be his glorious son and deputy, and look what that got him. A daughter cuddling with a RiverClanner in the middle of the night.”

Minnowtail nodded. “I always wondered,” she murmured, then rested her chin on Heathertail’s shoulder. “I suppose you’re not wrong.”

“I rarely am.”

The echo of their first encounter didn’t escape Minnowtail, and she purred, the sound of which reverberated through Heathertail’s smaller body. It warmed her to her very toes, and she nestled deeper into Minnowtail’s soft fur, just enjoying the sound of the crickets and the heat of Minnowtail’s pelt.

“I’m on dawn patrol tomorrow,” Minnowtail admitted after a while.

“That’s a shame for you,” Heathertail commented, pressing her forehead to the underside of Minnowtail’s head snugly. “I’m not moving. You’ll have to wrestle me off.”

“Too tired,” Minnowtail groaned.

“You can suffer tomorrow,” Heathertail suggested. “Stay with me.”

The last part came out less joking than Heathertail planned, and she found Minnowtail’s amber gaze focused on her, gentler than she had ever seen her and brimming with warmth and something more.

“I will,” Minnowtail murmured back, equally soft. Heathertail knew it was easier for her, to be gentle and vulnerable like that, but Heathertail felt like she had made a leap that might not be enough to clear a gap, and now was hanging over the abyss, waiting to see if she’d make it to the other side or fall into the darkness. It was a terrifying feeling, and yet… she held Minnowtail’s gaze. Soaked in the heat of her eyes, basked in the warmth of her like she was the sun, and… realized that she was in too deep. In too deep to run, at least. Not quite deep enough to know whether Minnowtail…

They stayed that way for a long time. Sometimes Minnowtail twitched her whiskers, amused, like they were having a staring contest, or Heathertail would fight the urge to duck away and lick her chest quickly, but mostly she just looked deep into the eyes of this she-cat who had become so important in the strangest way, and felt new things.

“You need get some rest,” Heathertail finally said, her voice coming out in the barest whisper. It hardly broke the night air, but Minnowtail was so close that she heard her anyway.

“Probably,” Minnowtail agreed.

Silence reigned again.

“Are you going to let me get up?”

“Oh, right.”

Minnowtail let out a _mrrow_ of amusement as Heathertail finally rolled off the other she-cat, the leaf-fall air feeling very cold on her belly-fur after Minnowtail’s warmth. Heathertail watched shyly as the other she-cat got to her paws, then felt a pang of concern as Minnowtail suddenly grunted in pain as she put pressure on her left fore-paw.

“Are you alright?” Heathertail asked, putting her shoulder underneath Minnowtai’s to help her get her footing.

“Fine,” she answered quickly, shaking out the foot and planting it on the ground. “Just an old training injury.”

It sounded like a lie, and worry flared through Heathertail. _She wouldn’t really keep something from me, would she? Not after… Not after everything._ “Does it hurt?” she asked.

“No, I’m fine,” Minnowtail assured her. “I guess the good thing about being a warrior is no more training, right?”

“But now you get endless dawn patrols,” Heathertail teased, feeling them shift back into another world as dawn began to turn the sky gray.

Minnowtail flashed her her usual conceited grin. “That’s right. I’ll have to bribe Leopardstar somehow; Mistyfoot won’t budge.”

“Good luck with that,” Heathertail snorted. “She’s as stubborn as they come.”

“I have my ways,” Minnowtail answered with another cocky look, then turned. “I’ll see you a couple nights from now?”

“Sure,” Heathertail agreed. The next Gathering wasn’t for another half-moon, and despite Minnowtail’s sudden change back into her persona, she still seemed unwilling to go so long without seeing Heathertail. It comforted Heathertail a little, though she still couldn’t shake the feeling there was something Minnowtail wasn’t telling her.

_That makes two of us,_ she thought, and _it_ swelled in her chest again, watching the gray and white she-cat disappear onto RiverClan territory. She didn’t bury it this time, just let it spread until every hair on her body seemed to lean toward where Minnowtail had vanished. In the pale light of dawn, and the cold air where Minnowtail wasn’t anymore, Heathertail felt the words in her throat. She couldn’t say it, not quite, not when Minnowtail’s invincible vulnerability wasn’t there to influence her, and so, in WindClan fashion, she swallowed it down. It curled back up, nestling in her heart, and Heathertail sighed.

* * *

_Here's my confession, I've got a death wish / I'm in the fast lane, addicted to excess / Living my best life, I was on top rise / Sipping the limelight, a deer in the headlights / My future used to shine, it's bright as a diamond / Where'd the time go_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed, please leave me a comment!


	2. Her Worth Being Mounted on the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minnowtail’s hiding something and Heathertail is too deep in to pretend she doesn’t care anymore. As a storm approaches, Minnowtail’s cryptic warnings only make Heathertail more afraid for a cat she’s grown more attached to than she wants to admit. Minnowtail withdraws further, and Heathertail is going to have to decide if she wants to chase her into the darkness or let her go at last. Then as the battle erupts on all fronts, Minnowtail and Heathertail have to hold tight to each other or risk losing everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second part of Catch and Release! A reminder to check out Turning Tail if you haven’t, as its second part is also released today! The third and final parts to each will be released two days from now.
> 
> Enjoy!

Heathertail sunk her claws into the peaty moor absentmindedly. She was thinking about Minnowtail, which was not new, but in a less longing way and a more… nervous one than usual. They had met again last night, near the outer borders of their Clans, just past the horseplace. Minnowtail had been late, bearing an excuse about having taken a sun-down nap and then oversleeping. Despite that, she had seemed tired, like she hadn’t slept properly in a moon. As they’d lain together, looking up at the stars, Heathertail had felt an uneven bit of her thick pelt against her side. Like there was an injury being poorly covered.

“Heathertail!” Kestrelflight spoke sharply, startling her out of her reverie.

“Sorry, Kestrelflight, what did you say?”

“I asked if you could hold this,” he mewed, dropping a mouthful of yellow flowers with narrow petals in front of her. Then he cocked his head—a gesture that reminded Heathertail of Minnowtail—and gave her a worried look. “You’ve been quiet.”

She swallowed. “Have I?”

When she didn’t go on, Kestrelflight shook his head. “Can you take that coltsfoot back to camp and leave it in my den? I’ll come along in a bit.”

“Onestar said…” she began, but Kestrelflight lashed his tail once, cutting her off in a more severe gesture than Kestrelflight usually made. Something was on the medicine cat’s mind as well, she could tell.

“Forget what he said.” Kestrelflight turned back to the patch of flowers. “I can take care of myself.”

Heathertail cast her gaze over the rolling hills, scenting the air to make sure no dog-scent was anywhere near them, then agreed. “Alright. Be careful.”

He made a noncommittal noise. Heathertail took the flowers between her teeth, then broke into a run toward the camp. The sweet smell of the herb made her think of Minnowtail. _Everything does, these days,_ she thought, wincing as she remembered how she’d stared at Leaftail for so long that he’d asked her if she was having a fit. His eyes were nearly the same colour as Minnowtail’s, just a shade darker and cooler-toned.

The run back to camp failed to put the RiverClan she-cat out of her head; Leaftail flicking his tail in greeting really only served to implant her more firmly in Heathertail’s mind. _A border patrol, maybe_ , Heathertail decided.

“I’m glad younger warriors like you are taking initiative,” Ashfoot said, then flicked her tail at the cats milling about the camp, enjoying the fading rays of leaf-fall sunlight. “Take Breezepelt and your apprentices along; you can go mark the RiverClan border.”

Suffice it to say, treading the path she and Minnowtail had taken less than a full day before did very little to shift Heathertail’s thoughts from the RiverClan she-cat. Breezepelt’s acid comments about the Clan might have done it, but most of them were ostensibly for the benefit of Boulderpaw. Heathertail wondered what kind of warrior Boulderpaw would turn out to be with that kind of influence, and resolved to try to mellow the black tom for his apprentice’s sake, if not his. _He wasn’t like this when we were apprentices… I know we haven’t been close lately. Is it because of me?_ She sized up her Clanmate, observing the way his tail lashed distractedly and his yellow eyes glittered as he stared toward the RiverClan border. _Maybe if I try to be more friendly._

“Good catch on that squirrel the other day,” she commented.

Breezepelt’s eyes flicked toward her with an almost suspicious slant. “It wasn’t hard.”

Stifling a snort, she looked away again, focusing on the trail they were taking to the border. _Don’t know why I bother._ Untethered, her thoughts once again spiralled back to Minnowtail. _What’s going on in RiverClan, and why won’t she admit that she’s hurt? Are they having a dog problem too? I thought we were past putting on strong fronts to protect our Clans._

She had nearly convinced herself to stop thinking about Minnowtail when they reached the border. Then she scented the air and groaned silently when more echoes of the she-cat’s scent wreathed around her. _Stop being a mouse-brain, it’s just RiverClan scent. Of course it smells a bit like her._

“Fresh!” Breezepelt unsheathed his claws and dug them into the earth. “There must be a patrol nearby.”

“Fox-dung,” Heathertail breathed. _Well, at least I’m not a mouse-brain. My nose still works._

Minnowtail, leading a patrol of Icewing, Mossypaw, and Grasspelt, strolled out of the bushes. She froze for a heartbeat when her eyes met Heathertail’s, then as smoothly as if they were strangers, continued up to the border.

“Not another pawstep,” Breezepelt hissed and Heathertail cringed. _Don’t do this, Breezepelt. Not today._

“This is… our territory,” Minnowtail said slowly, tilting her head and regarding Breezepelt as if she were speaking to a kit.

Breezepelt stared at the she-cat for a few heartbeats, then dipped his head. “Right. Carry on.”

_What?!_ It required an effort to keep her mouth closed as shock pulsed through her. _What in the name of StarClan…?_ Breezepelt turned away, flicking his tail to beckon Boulderpaw and Furzepaw, then began marking their side as casually as she’d ever seen him. Minnowtail continued to her patrol along the border.

Heathertail watched her with wide eyes. _How did she do that?_ Just before the RiverClan cats disappeared again into the bushes, Minnowtail glanced back and met her gaze. Heathertail couldn’t manage more than a questioning look before the she-cat slipped back into her territory. _We’re meeting again in three nights,_ she told herself. _I can ask how in StarClan’s name she managed to make Breezepelt relax._

Despite the unease that she felt at the implications of the encounter, if Minnowtail could teach her that, Boulderpaw might really be fine, she thought. She glanced at Breezepelt, noting how his fur lay flat as he marked the border, then returned her gaze to where the RiverClan patrol had been. _He and Minnowtail met at that Gathering, moons ago, and Breezepelt had been a mouse-length from tearing her pelt off. What changed?_

As they ran back to camp, giving the apprentices a chance to stretch their legs, Breezepelt suddenly stopped, stumbling, and swore under his breath. “Fox-dung!”

Heathertail flicked her ear for Furzepaw and Boulderpaw to go on ahead to camp, and then doubled back. “What’s wrong?”

He just let out a low hiss of pain, then shook out his pelt. “I’m fine.”

She could scent blood. “No, you’re not; you’re hurt.”

“It’s an old wound, I just reopened it,” he snapped. “I told you, I’m fine.”

That, too, reminded Heathertail of Minnowtail.

_Her Worth Being Mounted on the Wind_

Three days later, Minnowtail was being evasive again.

“But _why?_ ” Heathertail asked. “He’s my Clanmate. I know he’s a bit prickly, but… He’s harmless, really.”

Minnowtail shook her head, a dark look in her eye. “Heathertail… just promise me you’ll keep your distance,” she repeated. “Breezepelt’s bad news. He’s not the same cat that you used to know.”

Heathertail narrowed her eyes. _How should she know?_ They were sitting by a stream at the border; Minnowtail had offered to teach her to fish in a more light-hearted moment, but their conversation had quickly shifted when Heathertail brought up the encounter at the border from a few days ago and Minnowtail suddenly became insistent that Heathertail stay away from Breezepelt

“I don’t understand,” Heathertail finally said. It was an admission she hardly dared _think_ around her Clanmates, but Minnowtail never scorned her for not knowing something. “What do you know that I don’t?”

Minnowtail faltered, then looked down into the stream. “Breezepelt is…” She paused for a long time, then said, “I’m sorry, I can’t explain it. But _please_ , if you trust me, believe me when I say that there’s a side of him you haven’t seen.”

“And I suppose you’ve seen this mysterious alternate personality?” Heathertail pursued, unwilling to let it go with such little explanation.

Something occurred to her and she pulled herself upright, wide-eyed. _She’s not…_ They’d never had a proper talk, but Heathertail had just assumed that Minnowtail wasn’t chasing any cat anymore. _Except me. If that’s still going on._ It was nice to think Minnowtail simply enjoyed her company and was no longer trying to win some mouse-brained bet.

“It’s not what you think,” Minnowtail told her quickly. “It’s…” She struck the dirt with one paw, leaving little furrows where her claws had passed through. “I’m sorry. You just have to believe me.”

_Or what?_ Heathertail shook her head. “You can tell me anything, Minnowtail, you know that, right? I’m not going to go running off to Onestar.”

“I know.” Minnowtail lowered her head, peering into the stream aimlessly. The shadows in her eyes made the fur on Heathertail’s spine prickle.

She waited. Minnowtail said nothing.

“Alright, teach me to fish.”

With some difficulty, they moved back to a casual, light place where Heathertail didn’t ask about Minnowtail’s fresh scratch on her flank and Minnowtail didn’t offer any more cryptic warnings. Heathertail stayed by the stream for a long time after Minnowtail left, breathing in the mingled WindClan and RiverClan scents, and feeling the wind ruffle her ears and fur.

Just before leaving, Minnowtail had told her that it would be longer before they could meet again. Again with little explanation, which solidified Heathertail’s feeling that the RiverClan she-cat was hiding something.

The Gathering came less than a quarter-moon away, but Minnowtail wasn’t among RiverClan’s ranks, which meant the next time they saw each other was nearly a moon later. Heathertail avoided Leaftail.

Heathertail knew something was wrong the moment Minnowtail slunk out of the bushes. She was badly injured, from the scent of blood, and limped over Heathertail who had been waiting by the edge of the horseplace.

“Minnowtail,” she breathed.

Finally, she fixed her dark gaze on Heathertail, and stopped, her tail lying limply in the dirt. “You should have seen the other tom.” The joke came out flat and low, and Heathertail rushed forward, pressing her cheek to Minnowtail’s.

“What happened?” she whispered into her pelt.

Minnowtail let out a soft whimper as she lay down, and Heathertail looked her over, fear and concern swelling to fill her whole body. _These are bites and scratches from another cat,_ she realized. _She’s been in a serious fight._

As she waited for Minnowtail to explain, the silence dragged on, only punctured by Minnowtail’s ragged breaths. Heathertail put aside her need to understand and crouched beside the other she-cat. Then she began to wash her pelt, in long, gentle strokes. Coppery flakes of dried blood melted on Heathertail’s tongue, but she didn’t falter, even as she parted Minnowtail’s thick white chest-fur and found deep gouges. She just drew in a breath and cleaned the blood away from them. Eventually, as Heathertail progressed to Minnowtail’s back, then flank, Minnowtail began to speak.

“I killed him.” The admission was quiet, ragged, and Heathertail was careful not to flinch. Minnowtail let out a shaky breath, then continued, “He thought he was winning, but I… I was trying to move him to the water’s edge.”

Heathertail smoothed another patch of fur, though it didn’t quite lay flat over the teeth marks on Minnowtail’s back leg.

“And I pushed him under.” Minnowtail closed her eyes and Heathertail could feel her trembling under her thick fur. “I… I keep hearing it.” Her voice shook. “I keep hearing the sound he made when… when he knew what was happening. He was scared, Heathertail. I knew that he would kill me if he could, but he was _so scared_ to die.” She broke off in a stuttering cry and Heathertail stopped grooming her, then lay down next to her and pressed her steady body against Minnowtail’s shaking one until she regained the strength to go on. “But I kept him underwater until he stopped moving.”

They sat in silence for a long time after that. Minnowtail didn’t make a sound and lay stiffly next to Heathertail. Heathertail could only imagine what memories plagued the other she-cat’s mind.

“Rogues,” Minnowtail eventually said. “There was a rogue attack.”

It was a lie. Heathertail said nothing.

She had a growing feeling of certainty that this had something to do with Breezepelt, but it wasn’t the time to ask about that. Instead, she put it all aside and quietly resumed grooming Minnowtail’s tangled fur. She put Minnowtail back together, piece by piece, and stopped when she had no fur left to clean and the other she-cat’s breathing had slowed.

Heathertail pulled away, the cool air stealing the warmth Minnowtail’s body had imparted onto her, and watched her sleep for a long while, finding that her own sleep didn’t come so easily. Not when Minnowtail was still in such a state.

When Minnowtail began mumbling, words blurred and quivering with fear, Heathertail lay down once more and waited until Minnowtail quieted. Just as the nightmare seemed to be leaving her, Minnowtail, still fast asleep, murmured, “Don’t hurt her.”

Heathertail let out a shaky breath.

Then, as Minnowtail finally stilled, falling into a deeper sleep with a soft noise, and _it_ swelled in her again, Heathertail finally gave it her voice.

“I love you.”

Minnowtail was still silent and motionless, and so, confidence building, Heathertail spoke a second time, voice a little stronger, a little surer. “I love you.”

The words felt too simple for Heathertail to fit the entire feeling into, but she didn’t know what more to do than stay with Minnowtail and tell her the truth, even if she couldn’t hear her. “I love you.”

Minnowtail woke at dawn and Heathertail helped her back to the RiverClan camp. Minnowtail was too groggy to protest, and despite the apprehension that tingled in Heathertail’s paws when they crossed the border, the thought of leaving Minnowtail to stagger back to camp alone was out of the question.

Minnowtail stopped her when they reached the outer reeds of the camp. “You shouldn’t come in,” she rasped. “They’ll know something’s going on.”

Even as everything in her ached to protest, she nodded. _Something’s going on? What’s between us, Minnowtail? I know what I feel._ “I won’t. Just… make sure Willowshine and Mothwing treat you… please?”

“Of course,” Minnowtail said, an old spark flaring back to life in her eyes. She flicked Heathertail with her plumy tail. “Can’t let these scar and ruin my perfect pelt.”

This time, Heathertail didn’t try to shove the thought back down as it soared within her in a chorus of, _I love you, I love you, I love you!_ Voicing it with Minnowtail looking directly at her, clear-eyed and conscious, was out of the question, though. Heathertail nodded again instead, trying to play along. “Right. That would be a tragedy.”

Minnowtail winked, then vanished into the reeds. Heathertail stayed there for a long moment, reflecting on the sudden return of Minnowtail’s persona. It was a little eerie, how quickly she could switch it on after her complete vulnerability last night. _What changed…? Is she wearing it because she got hurt?_

Despite the concern that told Heathertail to burst into RiverClan camp and stay with Minnowtail until she was really sure that she’d be okay, Heathertail began to pick her way across RiverClan territory. Her own heather-scent had faded a little after spending a night next to Minnowtail, nearly on top of the RiverClan scent-markings, and she hoped it would be enough for the next patrol to dismiss it. StarClan knew the last thing she and Minnowtail needed was a scuffle between their Clans over a few stray scents.

The next time they saw each other, Minnowtail’s persona was still firmly in place. Despite Heathertail’s discomfort, she continued to play along as best she could. It felt strange in a regressive sort of way, like sleeping in the apprentice’s patch after moons of being a full warrior, but the deep wounds hadn’t faded from Minnowtail’s pelt and Heathertail tried to be understanding. _She needs to do this right now,_ she told herself. Uncertainty still lapped at her paws like an incoming tide.

 _She said that she acts this way because she believes cats would hate her if they knew the true her. Doesn’t she know that I would never hate her, that I_ love _her?_ But she couldn’t speak it aloud.

It was only after Minnowtail had disappeared back into the night that Heathertail realized they hadn’t arranged another time to meet. She dismissed it as their shared forgetfulness and resolved to find a moment at the next Gathering to pull Minnowtail aside and ask.

Minnowtail wasn’t at the next Gathering.

Heathertail grew restless in the WindClan camp, often asking Ashfoot to be sent on patrols to the RiverClan border, but whether it was bad luck or if Heathertail’s paranoia was correct and Minnowtail was avoiding her, she never saw the dark gray and white she-cat.

The next Gathering, Mistystar announced the mysterious death of Beetlewhisker. She drew in a breath, stunned by the details. _In his nest?! How in StarClan’s name is that possible? If a fox or badger had gotten in, why would it have killed a single cat and retreated? Was it one of his Clanmates…?_

“How do you think it happened?” she whispered to Breezepelt.

His face was impassive. “StarClan knows.”

Just as she was turning back to the leaders, she caught sight of Harespring’s expression. The broad-shouldered brown-and-white tom looked utterly horrified. A memory that she and all of WindClan had tried to bury swept over her, brought on by the scent of fear rolling off her Clan. _Antpelt. That’s how Antpelt died._ Clawed to shreds in his nest, body cold before any cat had even woken. She shuddered, remembering awaking to fearful cries and the stench of death. Despite the thorn-sharp memory of her Clanmate’s death… she was quickly overtaken with fear for those who still lived.

_Mysterious injuries. No cause, as if they’d appeared there over night._ The heartbeat the leaders were finished, Heathertail found Minnowtail in the crowd.

The other she-cat was forcedly nonchalant in her greeting, hardly meeting Heathertail’s gaze, her eyes dull. Something was wrong, deeply wrong, Heathertail could feel it as present and ominous as stormclouds rolling in.

“Heathertail…” she began, voice flat, but Heathertail couldn’t let her finish.

“Do you know what happened to Beetlewhisker?” she demanded under her breath, praying to StarClan that her voice wouldn’t give away just how scared she was of Minnowtail’s future. Still, the she-cat wouldn’t look at her. “What happened to Antpelt? Is it the reason you keep getting hurt, and why you lied to me about the tom you killed?”

Minnowtail let out a slow breath. “I didn’t.”

“Is there a chance you’ll get killed like them?” Heathertail pressed, voice breaking across the words like brittle ice. “Please, Minnowtail.”  
Finally, the dark gray and white she-cat levelled an irritated look at Heathertail. Heathertail recoiled instinctively. “It doesn’t matter.”  
“ _Yes,_ it does,” she insisted, feeling her throat begin to close up with oncoming tears. _You matter. You matter to me. Do I matter to you?_ “Why won’t you open up to me…?”

Minnowtail sighed. “Because I’m _bored_. You said you would never fall for me, now you have, so I’m done. Bye.”

And then with a swish of her tail, Minnowtail retreated deeper into RiverClan’s ranks, vanishing into a dozen other gray and silver and white pelts.

Heathertail stood very, very still, and thought three things.

_She’s lying._

_She warned me._

_I love her._

A terrible shift in memory came over her, as if the ground had tilted beneath her paws. Heathertail found herself questioning every word, every look exchanged, as though a fog had cleared and shown her the truth. _No, she’s not lying. Even if that was her true self, I’m never going to see it again. She let me in until I fell in love with her, and now she’s moving on just like she said she would. Because she’s Minnowtail, and I’m…_ She felt sick, like the Gathering island was lurching beneath her paws. All the Clan cats milling around her, blissfully unaware, as she held on for dear life. _What do I do now?_

The future suddenly stretched out, feeling cavernous and solitary. _Grow old alone? Mother Breezepelt until he shapes up and then pop out a few litters of kits, as miserable as Crowfeather was with Nightcloud?_

A sort of complete loneliness settled over her as she watched RiverClan leave the island. _It can’t be over. It can’t._ Why was Minnowtail doing this to her? Misery clogged Heathertail’s throat. _Because she’s bored. Because I broke my promise. Because she heard me that night, and she doesn’t want me._

A feeling she had kept away for many moons began to creep in.

_Because you weren’t good enough for Onestar, you weren’t good enough for Crowfeather, and you’re not good enough for Minnowtail._

She had known it, hadn’t she? In some deep-buried part of her mind. Of course she wasn’t. Skinny, annoying, loud Heathertail. She had tried to force Minnowtail to tell her things Minnowtail wanted to keep to herself. She had demanded to be let in when Minnowtail was trying to keep her out. She had pushed a boundary too far, this time.

Heathertail stood in the cool air, praying to StarClan that time would speed its course and take this night away from her. _I’m so, so stupid. Why did I ever think we had a chance?_ She squeezed her eyes shut and waited until her father’s call signalled WindClan’s departure.

_Her Worth Being Mounted on the Wind_

Days passed, and Heathertail lagged behind. No matter what distraction she threw herself into, the last words Minnowtail had said to her echoed dully in her head, over and over again like they were trying to batter down the defenses Heathertail had raised around her heart. _Bye. I’m bored. You said you would never fall for me. I’m done._

Even _Breezepelt_ began to notice something was wrong. He would shoot her vaguely uncomfortable looks on patrols, even though he never really asked. She was grateful. Whitetail and even Onestar would press her on why she had become so reserved and unresponsive, and she had no answer for them. When torturing herself became useless, she turned her anger on Minnowtail. The Minnowtail in her head, that was. She stayed away from the RiverClan border.

_She let me in. She knew I’d fall for her,_ she thought, clawing up moss from a stump on the edge of WindClan’s territory. Menial labour was preferable to more sideways glances from her Clanmates. _What kind of cat would do that? She broke my heart on_ purpose! _She knew I loved her. She said as much herself. But she never cared about me._

Perhaps she wasn’t done with the self-torture just yet.

_No, it’s true. She never loved me. I challenged her to a game, and she won, and now I’m left like this._ She tore at the moss. _Why do I still care about her?_

Finally, she spared the moss and returned to camp, still wrapped up in thought.

_WindClan’s got bigger problems. So stop worrying if she’s still getting hurt or if she’s happy or if she’s—Just stop!_

Still, though, as she continued to find ways to make herself busy, her memory of Minnowtail’s gaze refused to leave. Rumours of a place beyond StarClan, and of the darkness that lingered there, spread through the Clan like wildfire, and before long, Heathertail’s dreams were filled with fanged shadows and honeyed eyes.

Heathertail did her best to avoid Gatherings. Rumours of spies from other Clans abounded; somehow, it had become common knowledge that ThunderClan cats had been practicing tree-fighting and Onestar was paranoid that WindClan tactics were equally being revealed to other Clans. Additionally, scents of rogues had spread over the territory and Onestar had ramped up border patrols to compensate. They hadn’t seen a hair on the pelt of the cats leaving the scents, but as the moons wore on, the scents got closer and closer to the heart of WindClan territory.

Breezepelt’s scent was mingled with them.

Heathertail kept her head down.

_She warned me,_ she thought. _She was right to tell me that she would leave. Maybe she’s right about Breezepelt too._ There was a brutality to him these days that she didn’t recognize. Boulderpaw’s ceremony was delayed after he returned from a sparring practice with a broken leg. Crowfeather’s gaze darkened. Heathertail steered clear of that entire family. But when she couldn’t face her parents’ questions either, and was cutting herself off from the tom she grew up with and her old mentor… she was left awfully lonely in WindClan.

Ashfoot directed her on patrols. Furzepelt was made a warrior. Kestrelflight retreated deeper into his den, the inexorable bond between the medicine cats and StarClan somehow ruptured. Heathertail floated like a ghost that couldn’t reach StarClan, neither really alive nor dead.

She ached for Minnowtail.

_Give up on her. You’ll just make yourself miserable,_ she thought, staring up at the round yellow moon and wishing she was curled up with Minnowtail. _Stop thinking about her. She doesn’t love you,_ she thought, tearing her eyes off Leaftail. The tom had been a little wary of her these days, the way Heathertail stared at him, trying to let her gaze blur until he looked more gray, until his eyes were brighter. _I need to be happy in WindClan._

Leaftail was hardly open to romance with the brewing storm on the horizon, and Heathertail’s thoughts eventually turned darker. _Maybe I’ll be a casualty. Whatever those shadows are, rogues, beasts, something worse… Not every cat’s going to walk off the battlefield._ She withdrew entirely.

The battle came for the Clans.

Her father spoke of the enemies of the Clans, long-defeated, returning to exact vengeance. Of the Clanmates that they were trying to turn against them. The truth finally slotted into place in Heathertail’s mind, and it didn’t matter.

Her father spoke of sending patrols to the other Clans to help.

Heathertail kept her head down.

It did not matter.

She was sent to RiverClan, shoulder to shoulder with Leaftail and Gorsetail. Her thoughts felt muddy and unfocused as they wound their way deep into RiverClan territory. Trying in vain to remember her training, Heathertail kept her eyes flickering over the reeds, water, bushes, not letting them hone in on anything lest it bring unwelcome memories, which was working excellently until they pushed through the reeds that walled the camp.

_No._ Heartache surged in Heathertail, so acute and cavernous that her pelt quivered, and she fixed her gaze to the ground. _Don’t look at her, don’t look at her, don’t remember, don’t think about her, don’t love her._

“Welcome,” Mistystar said.

_She’s leader now. And Reedwhisker’s deputy..._ The angle of Mistystar’s muzzle, the lustre of Reedwhisker’s pelt… even as Heathertail kept her gaze as far from the dark-pelted she-cat that sat at the edge of the crowd as she could, it was useless. She was in RiverClan, and _she_ was reflected everywhere.

“We are grateful to Onestar for your help,” Mistystar added, dipping her head to the three warriors. The rasp of her voice was— _Stop it, stop it, stop it._ “Our Clan is divided into three main patrols, who will protect the left, right, and centre of the camp.” As she spoke, she flicked her tail to herself, then to her deputy and son, then to Blackclaw who had the same glossy black pelt as Reedwhisker, the same glossy dark pelt as— “Leaftail, you can join my patrol, Gorsetail, go with Reedwhisker, and Heathertail, you’ll join Blackclaw.”

Heathertail dipped her head and slowly drifted to the senior warrior’s patrol. She felt very skinny and unimpressive compared to the thick pelts and broad shoulders of the warriors around her. She felt a lot of other things when a she-cat flashed at the edge of her vision. _Don’t look at her._

“They’re coming,” Willowshine, the slender medicine cat announced from the edge of the camp. Her eyes were dark.

Mistystar gave her a sharp nod, then cast her leaf-bare-blue eyes over the crowd. “Prepare! Take your positions!”

Heathertail followed at Blackclaw’s shoulder, keeping her gaze on the smoky horizon. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears as the tension rose to a crackling crescendo. _This is it. Is this my time, StarClan?_ It certainly felt like her life was finished. _I’ve loved and lost, and now it’s time for me to go._

So when Mistystar’s yowl erupted through the air, Heathertail flung herself into the fray without a second thought. _I’m too far away to protect my Clanmates, and I have no cat waiting for me after the battle. I have nothing to lose…_ And so she didn’t hold back as she found a dark-furred she-cat and began to tear into her.

The half-solid she-cat let out a rumbling growl of pain as Heathertail scored her claws down her flank, then turned and slammed Heathertail to the ground with a flashing leap. Heathertail’s head spun as the impact rocketed through her, and reached up to defend her throat and face as the she-cat took the opportunity to go for a killing blow. Heathertail knocked it off course, but it was a clumsy block and the she-cat tore Heathertail’s ear open. Pain sang in her mind, and Heathertail swiped at the she-cat’s face. It was too weak to do much more than clip her cheek, and the dark-furred she-cat gave a purr of dark amusement.

“You’re Heathertail, aren’t you?” she hissed, then raised a paw to slice Heathertail’s other ear.

Heathertail gasped at the pain, wriggling uselessly. The she-cat’s grip was like a cave-in, utterly crushing her. “How—how do you know—my name?”

“You’re the reason she came to me,” the she-cat hissed, a malicious glitter in her pale yellow gaze. “But I always knew she’d defect. So now I’ll make good on my promise.”

“What promise?” Heathertail choked as the she-cat dug her claws into Heathertail’s belly. A kind of deep, primal fear locked Heathertail in place as she came to grips with just how close death was. _If she rips me open, it’s over. Willowshine, Kestrelflight, there’s no putting me back together—_

“My promise to make her precious little WindClan she-cat choke on her own blood,” she whispered. She ran her tongue over stained fangs as she gazed as Heathertail’s belly. “Any last words?”

Then pain tore through Heathertail as the she-cat’s claws were ripped out. Heathertail screamed, rolling to try to curl into herself. Blood wetted her fur, and her vision pulsed with darkness. The she-cat’s weight was gone.

Heathertail blinked, or perhaps her vision was just spotting with darkness, trying in vain to focus on what she was seeing.

“I’ll kill you!” Minnowtail was howling, forepaws moving in a flurry of strikes. The dark incorporeal she-cat lay on her back, paws raised to defend herself. “I’ll kill you!” Minnowtail raged again. The she-cat had skill, Heathertail could see in the way her body moved to try to escape, but Minnowtail’s fury was a deluge. Blood sprayed Minnowtail’s white chest as she continued to shred the she-cat, even after she was long-dead. Even as she faded. Minnowtail’s furious cries turned to sobs.

Heathertail breathed, feeling the air scrape at her like claws raking her lungs, and watched as the body faded like melting snow. _Will I fade… so easily…?_ Minnowtail scrambled away from the blood-soaked earth, then over to Heathertail.

“You,” Heathertail managed. It was going to be part of a longer sentence, but more pain rippled through her and made her bite off her word with a gasp.

“Heathertail, I’m so sorry,” Minnowtail whispered. A sea of panic surged under that concern, each word containing tightly-leashed distress. “I’m so sorry. I put you in danger, I hurt you, I—”

“Why?” she croaked, trying not to whimper as she curled up, closing the still-bleeding wounds at least a bit.

Minnowtail shook her head, miserable. “I… they were going to kill you. They knew that I—they knew that hurting you would hurt me. I was training in the Dark Forest, and they wanted to ensure our loyalty… I couldn’t let you be caught in the conflict.”

“Fine… job… of that…” Heathertail groaned, too tired to put any fire in her words. Great StarClan, she was so tired. She closed her eyes.

“No, no, no,” Minnowtail said, desperation edging her voice. “Don’t close your eyes, Heathertail, stay with me.”

“Don’t hurt me,” Heathertail whispered, opening one eye a slit. “I know you… you don’t love me… just leave… and don’t hurt me again.”

As Heathertail lost consciousness, she saw the torment in Minnowtail’s eyes. She remembered feeling it. And then she didn’t feel anything at all.

_Her Worth Being Mounted on the Wind_

She awoke to darkness.

Darkness and warmth.

She had always thought StarClan would be bright and cold, so she blinked her eyes open to find out where exactly it was that she was sleeping. Nothing showed itself but the moonlit earth in front of her. She could hear water. She could scent roses. Herbs. Minnowtail.

She could _feel_ Minnowtail. A familiar body was pressed against hers. That was why she was warm. Heathertail tried to move, but the bone-bending ache that produced itself at the slight shift was enough to make her freeze. Memories of the moon leading up to the battle clogged her throat and she swallowed a sob. _The battle must be over. Who’s dead?_ Not Minnowtail. Not her. _Wouldn’t it be easier if I were gone?_ But she wasn’t and now she would have to deal with what happened when every cat woke.

Just as she lowered her muzzle to her paws again and tried to ignore Minnowtail next to her, she heard the other she-cat mumble something. _Talking in her sleep again…_ The thought had a fondness to it that made Heathertail’s heart clench. _Don’t do this, Heathertail._

“M’sorry,” Minnowtail murmured, curling tighter up to Heathertail’s flank. “I love you. I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Heathertail froze. _No, no, no._ Minnowtail let out a long sigh, then fell still again.

She didn’t get much sleep.

It was almost a relief when the gray light of dawn glinted off the stream that ran alongside what Heathertail discovered was the RiverClan medicine den. _Why is Minnowtail in here?_ she wondered, looking nervously over the she-cat who had stayed by her side the entire night. _Is she hurt?_ But her thick pelt was unbroken. Relief swamped Heathertail, who promptly tried to shove those feelings back down into the earth. _Don’t let her back in. I don’t care what she said in her sleep. She hurt me. Remember what it felt like when she said she was_ bored _at the Gathering._ The memory pierced her heart, and she closed her eyes and tried to pretend to be asleep as Minnowtail began to shift beside her.

Despite being awake, Minnowtail didn’t seem to be going anywhere in a hurry.

“Minnowtail…” It was the beautiful medicine cat, Mothwing’s voice. Heathertail kept her eyes shut. “You have to go out at some point. I have to treat her.”

“No, I have to stay with her,” Minnowtail answered softly. Her voice was ragged and muffled, and Heathertail wondered if she’d been hit in the throat in yesterday’s battle.

“Why?”

“I… she’s Onestar’s daughter. If he finds out she died, he’ll start a war with RiverClan.”

Mothwing didn’t answer that. Heathertail’s heart clenched again. _Stop it. Of course she has some other motive. She was probably having a dream about Mousewhisker or something, about hurting him when they were training in the Dark Forest. For StarClan’s sake, she’s a traitor! She warned me away from Breezepelt, even though she was no different..._

“I’m worried,” Mothwing murmured. “She needs to wake up, or she’ll starve. I’ve done my best to keep the wounds clean and give her water, but… there’s only so much she can do with no energy.”

Heathertail’s stomach did feel empty. _But if I get up… maybe I can just ignore Minnowtail._ She pretended to blink her eyes open. The pressure of Minnowtail’s body against hers eased immediately as the she-cat jumped to her paws.

“She’s awake! Heathertail!” Minnowtail came into view. Heathertail blinked her blurry eyes, and regretted it. Minnowtail was as lovely as the first day she’d seen her, even with a rumpled pelt from a night of squirming next to some cat else, eyes glittering with fear, and chest fur marred with scratches. Heathertail’s heart sank and she quickly pinned her gaze to Mothwing.

“Thank you for treating me, but I’d like to go back to WindClan now,” she rasped. “I’m sure they’re worried after yesterday.”

“Yesterday?” Mothwing echoed, then shook her head. “Heathertail… you’ve been unconscious for five days.”

Shock struck Heathertail with the force of a wave in deep water. _Five… days?_ No wonder Mothwing was worried about her _starving_ ; she hardly even felt hungry, only terribly weak.

“You almost died,” Minnowtail told her softly, still out of sight. Heathertail squeezed her eyes shut.

“I want to go home,” she repeated.

“That’s not a good idea.” Mothwing’s amber eyes glittered with sympathy. “I’m sorry, but you need to eat and rest right now. You lost a lot of blood, and we trickled water into your mouth and gave you poultices, but… we thought you might not wake up.”

Heathertail steeled herself as Minnowtail let out a near-whimper at the reminder. _No. No. She’s just scared Onestar will attack them._ “I’m awake now.”

Mothwing twitched her whiskers. “Yes. But like I said, you need to eat and rest until you’re strong enough to return to your Clan. Kestrelflight’s been running himself ragged going back and forth between our camps, and it would help him at least if he knew you were awake and healing.”

“Kestrelflight,” Heathertail mumbled, feeling a pang of sorrow thinking of their forgotten friendship. “I’m sure WindClan has many cats that need treatment too.”

“None so bad as you. Eat something and we’ll see how you fare in the evening.” From the medicine cat’s tone, Heathertail knew it was the best deal she would get.

_I don’t even really want to go home,_ she thought, lowering her muzzle onto her paws and watching as Minnowtail hurried out of the den to fetch her something. _I just want this whole thing to be over…_

Minnowtail dropped a water vole at her paws. Heathertail began to eat silently, despite the heat of Minnowtail’s gaze.

“Heathertail,” Minnowtail finally murmured. Heathertail finished the vole and half-heartedly scraped a bit of dirt over it. “Can we talk?”

Heathertail stayed silent. Even when it made her feel like a petulant kit, she was more scared of what would come out if she did open her mouth.

Minnowtail waited. Then said, “Alright. I just… I just want you to know that I’m sorry and…”

Mothwing said, “I’ll leave you two to talk.”

Heathertail felt a tingle of unease— _What does Mothwing think is between us?_ —but the golden she-cat left the den without so much as a warning to Minnowtail or suspicious stare at Heathertail. She watched her go and then finally resigned herself to hearing whatever it was Minnowtail was so desperate to get off her chest.

“Heathertail, I…” she began, voice half-strangled, then stopped and took a deep breath. “When I thought you were going to die… it felt like my heart was being ripped in two.”

_Don’t trust her._ “It must have been so hard for you to see _me_ get injured,” Heathertail said acidly.

Minnowtail looked like Heathertail had unsheathed her claws and raked them down her face. “I thought I was going to lose you,” she whispered.

The water vole must have finally given her some energy, because fury flared in Heathertail. “You made it clear as day that you didn’t _want_ me,” she spat.

“I was lying!” Minnowtail shook her head, anguish plain in her voice. “I _love_ you!”

“You do _not!_ ” Heathertail snarled. Something splintered in her chest. “You _hurt_ me. You… You broke my heart. I’m not going to let you do it again.”

Minnowtail recoiled.

Heathertail took a deep breath.

“I’m going to go back to WindClan,” she said. “And we are not going to speak to each other ever again.” Despite what she had told Minnowtail, it felt an awful lot like her heart was breaking again. _You have to,_ she told herself. _It’ll be worse if you let yourself…_ “It’s for the best.”

“No!” Minnowtail exclaimed, shaking her head. “It’s not, it can’t be!” But Heathertail looked away, and kept her gaze away. “Heathertail, please.”

“No.”

Her voice was raspy and unsubstantial to her own ears, but Minnowtail gave in almost instantly. She lowered her head, ears flattened, and then left the den, her tail trailing behind her.

_Heathertail, please._

Heathertail swallowed, trying to forget their last words as quickly as she could. She knew the heartbeat she was back in WindClan, they would be echoing in her mind for moons. It was useless. _Heathertail, please._

Kestrelflight came in the evening, and Blackclaw and Reedwhisker escorted them back. Blackclaw thanked her, his yellow eyes brimming with guilt as he watched the way she limped.

“You’re a true warrior, Heathertail,” the senior RiverClan warrior murmured. “To put your life on the line for another Clan… thank you. We won’t forget.”

Heathertail nodded mutely. It was high praise, but after today she could muster neither pride nor joy.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Kestrelflight said as they crossed the border. Heathertail nodded. The gashes in her stomach ached with every pawstep, though it was the bite of a flea compared to the feeling in her chest.

“Who’s dead?” she asked dully.

Kestrelflight let out a long breath, dark sorrow in his gaze. “Ashfoot, Tornear, Swallowtail, Webfoot, Owlwhisker, Thistleheart, Sunstrike, and... Boulderfur, just this morning.”

The list took Heathertail’s breath away. _So many gone._ Ashfoot and Tornear were both senior warriors, and had long ago proved themselves as assets to the Clan. The loss would be felt, but... Thistleheart, Boulderfur, even Sunstrike... _They were so young._ She remembered Boulderfur’s glowing blue eyes as he was made an apprentice alongside his sister; Sunstrike’s whispered confession to her that she was in love with Harespring; Thistleheart hadn’t even lived long enough for Heathertail to learn much about her at all.

“Harespring? Breezepelt?” she whispered.

Something flashed in Kestrelflight’s eyes, before the tom turned his gaze to the earth in front of them. “Harespring’s alright. Exhausted himself fighting, but recovered fully in a few days, and Onestar’s made him deputy as a show of good-will toward the cats who trained in the Dark Forest. Breezepelt came out with hardly a scratch.”

“He was fighting for them,” Heathertail murmured as they rounded a patch of heather. It reminded her that her scent had worn off, though if she had to guess, she likely smelled more like blood than tom-scent.

Kestrelflight nodded, confirming what she had guessed. _The scratches, Minnowtail’s warning, Boulderfur’s leg.._.

“Crowfeather must be livid.” Heathertail felt numb at the news, though. Breezepelt’s callous nature and hatred for his father’s other kits could only really lead to one destination. It was no surprise to her that it had come to fruition.

“He chased him out,” Kestrelflight said quietly. “And Breezepelt hasn’t come back.”

Heathertail swallowed. _Crowfeather lost his mother, Ashfoot, in that battle too, didn’t Kestrelflight say?_ She wondered how her mentor was faring. He had always seemed to her like the trunk of a tree, mostly destroyed in a storm; hard and unbending. Would this break him? _How could everything go wrong so fast?_

As they padded back into camp, Heathertail could hardly recognize the faces of her Clanmates; fewer, and twisted with grief. Harespring was just leaving Onestar’s den when he spotted the two of them and bounded over.

“Congratulations,” Heathertail told him hollowly.

He hardly seemed to take note of her, fixing his eyes to Kestrelflight and opening his jaws, though no sound came out.

“We should talk,” Kestrelflight finally rasped to Harespring.

The new deputy dipped his head. “Heathertail, your father wants to speak with you.”

She felt even less prepared to deal with his questions, but flicked her tail and began her journey across the camp. Stares followed her, but she ignored the wary gazes of her Clanmates.

Onestar raised his head as Heathertail stepped into the warren. It was stifling inside, that too-familiar scent mingling with heady, coppery blood. She fought the urge to backpedal out into the camp again. Relief swelled in his eyes when he saw her. The numbness rose up until she felt as though she was watching herself from a great distance. Watching Onestar as he drew close to her and pressed his muzzle to her forehead. Feeling nothing.

“Welcome back, son.”

* * *

_Girl it takes guts to just survive / I gotta / Oh, I gotta find another way / Another way / I'm learning to live / I'm trying to be better / I'm learning to give / But I don't know if I'm a giver_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much to everyone who commented on the last chapter! If you enjoyed this one, please leave a comment!


	3. Tails Twined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trembling, shattered, ruined, Heathertail and Minnowtail find themselves drawn back together against all odds. Heathertail can’t quite trust her, and Minnowtail knows she doesn’t deserve to be happy anymore, but they can’t let a cat that truly understands pass them by so easily. An uncertain alliance is formed where there was once so much more, and they learn who the other has become in the interval. After all, they never could quite let each other go, could they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, I know that last one was rough. I hope this makes up for it! Please enjoy.

Heathertail stood still.

She was at the RiverClan border where she and Minnowtail had met many times. The horseplace loomed next to her, a reminder of shared nights. She had tried so hard not to think, not to go back there, but…

There was nothing left for her in WindClan.

She sat, finally. Her body felt fragile and easily worn out, these days. The trip to the border alone had taken longer than it should have, all things considered. She couldn’t run much, anymore; Kestrelflight had warned her against strenuous exercise. She felt like an elder. At least the elders had a place within WindClan, though; at least they taught the younger generations, minded the kits, recorded history…

Heathertail was nothing, anymore. She _did_ nothing, merely drifted from place to place, hollow-eyed and silent.

Which was how she found herself on the RiverClan border, staring at the gully where she had watched shooting stars in another life, the reeds where she and Minnowtail had sat nestled together, the horseplace where they had whiled away nights, talking and sharing jokes and—

_Heathertail, please._

But that was over too, wasn’t it? Just like her place in WindClan. _Minnowtail doesn’t love me,_ she told herself. It didn’t hurt anymore. A corpse can’t be wounded, after all. _Minnowtail doesn’t love me. She told me as much. So I told her to leave, and now I just have to stay true to that promise._

She took a deep breath and settled down, tucking her paws under her chest. Her bones ached. _And even if it feels like no one in WindClan understands or cares, and there’s no cat I can speak truthfully with, and no future for me…_

_That_ hurt, somehow.

She peered into the stream nearby, half-expecting to see only the sky reflected. Perhaps she really was a ghost. But no, a reflection of Heathertail looked back. Her ‘purple’ eyes that had shocked Minnowtail out of words. Her broad tom’s forehead. She swallowed. The cobwebs plastered over her chest that Kestrelflight applied daily. She didn’t smell like heather anymore. She smelled like herbs and blood.

It was a clean wound, at least, Kestrelflight had said. No sign of infection.

She wished she could say the same for the place that Minnowtail had left behind. It was as tender and sweet as inflamed flesh, as festering and gaping, and it was going to be the death of Heathertail.

_I don’t need her._ Heathertail shook her head and looked away from the stream. _I don’t want to see her._

Which she knew was a lie, because Minnowtail was standing across the stream and all Heathertail could feel was a great, trembling flood of relief.

“Minnowtail,” she whispered. _Have I finally gone mad? Am I imagining things now?_

But the she-cat took a slow step toward her, bringing with her the sweet and salty scents of her fur and of RiverClan. _Well, maybe I’m imagining scents too._

“Heathertail,” Minnowtail breathed.

Heathertail bowed her head, hoping the apparition would leave. Another part of her hoped it would stay, keep her company, and give her one last feeling of being seen before Heathertail faded entirely, forgotten.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d really be here,” Minnowtail rasped. “I just… I needed to see you.”

Heathertail lowered her head and prayed for her to disappear. Minnowtail soldiered on.

“I know what you said, I just… I have to tell you the truth,” Minnowtail murmured, stopping at the edge of the other side of the stream. Heathertail smothered every treacherous hope that Minnowtail might cross it and lay down next to her.

“You’ve said enough,” Heathertail forced herself to say.

Minnowtail was wordless for a moment, grief choking her, then shook her head. “I hurt you. And there’s no excuse for that. But… I thought that maybe if… if you weren’t so close to me, the Dark Forest wouldn’t hurt you.”

At the memory, phantom pain lanced through Heathertail’s belly.

“I thought if you didn’t love me, they wouldn’t kill you,” Minnowtail whispered, almost to herself. “I thought I could save you.”

_Well, I’m not dead. Is that the most I can say, now?_

Heathertail gritted her teeth against the implications. _She didn’t save me. She hurt me. She broke my heart on purpose. Don’t let her back in._ “You’re right. There’s no excuse.”

And she stood, even as her chest ached— _Because of the wound_ —and her eyes stung, and padded back into WindClan territory.

Minnowtail didn’t follow her.

Heathertail made her way along the border, far enough into WindClan territory that Minnowtail wouldn’t see her, and then looped back to the horseplace. Her own weakness was like thorns in her heart, but she couldn’t go back to camp. Facing her Clanmates again was unthinkable.

She and Minnowtail had always stayed on the outskirts of the barn, not wanting to attract the attention of the horses or the Twolegs. Today, Heathertail wound around the squared-off tree trunks that formed an entrance to the barn and padded inside.

It had the slightly muffling scent of hay, and a fainter one of cats. Sunshine filtered in from the cracks in the logs, dust motes spiralling lazily to the earth. Heathertail felt a great sense of peace wash over her; the barn felt like another world, entirely removed from the Clans or Minnowtail or Onestar. A loft far above her head sheltered more hay, and the ground beneath her paws was soft and covered in a light layer of hay and debris. Much easier on her stinging pads than the hard-packed dirt of the moor.

Heathertail stood still for a long moment, just breathing in the scents of the horseplace and the deserted barn.

“Hi, stranger.”

Or not deserted.

Heathertail jumped, startled, and twisted around to see another she-cat in the entrance. She was a plump calico, about the age of Heathertail’s mother Whitetail, and had clear, friendly amber eyes.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t scent you,” Heathertail apologized, ducking her head. “I… I didn’t mean to trespass.”

“Trespass?” The calico purred and stepped into the barn, padding confidently into the open space. The sunlight lit her fur as she made her way to the centre, and she stretched lazily. “No such thing. We’re not Clan cats, here; there’s no borders.” Then she paused and turned to peer at Heathertail. “Oh! You—are you a Clan cat?”

Heathertail faltered. _Should I lie…?_ Still, the calico seemed merely curious rather than suspicious. “Er, yes. I’m Heathertail, I’m… from WindClan.” It felt like a lie on her tongue, and she tacked on, “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” the she-cat echoed. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Heathertail from sort-of-WindClan. I’m Coriander.”

Heathertail nodded, unable to shake the feeling that she was intruding. Still, Coriander was friendly, and the barn was immensely welcoming compared to the foreignity of WindClan’s camp. “Do you live here alone?”

Coriander shook her head. “My mate Smoky, and my kits live here with me.”

“Oh!” Heathertail blinked. _Is my nose not working?_ She sniffed the air again and finally noticed the scents of a tom and kits, probably not older than a moon or two. Coriander also had the smell of milk about her.

“You can hunt if you like,” Coriander offered. “You look skinny.”

Heathertail let out a startled purr at the she-cat’s frank observation. She caught herself, realizing it was the first faintly happy noise she’d made in moons. “I… all WindClan cats look like this.”

Coriander purred. “Suit yourself, chickie. Don’t worry about us, though, there are more mice than we can handle.”

Heathertail’s belly rumbled on cue and she felt her ears get hot with embarrassment. Coriander just gave her another amused look and then padded over to the edge of the barn, where an odd set of logs were arranged in ascending order. Coriander climbed up, disappearing into the hay on the loft, and Heathertail heard a rustling as the queen settled down. A moment later, the squeak of kits drifted over the hay and down to the floor of the barn.

Something about the sound made Heathertail’s heart melt a little. Here was a simple life, of one queen and her mate and their kits. More mice than they could handle, and no expectations of Clan life.

Heathertail padded around the barn, her curiosity fed by Coriander’s friendly demeanor. There was a large, black hollow trunk on one side of the barn, and as Heathertail carefully jumped atop the rim, she found it was full of rainwater. She hopped off, onto a haybale, and padded along the side of the barn. Just as Coriander had said, she heard the squeaking and skittering of mice within the hay as she moved about the barn.

For the past moon, she had really only been eating when Kestrelflight pestered her, but as she saw a little brown shape shoot across the sunlit earth, Heathertail darted after it and slammed a paw down, cracking its spine without thinking. She felt a real pang of hunger as she breathed in the fresh-kill. It was the sharpest feeling she’d felt besides heartache and loneliness in moons.

She pricked her ears, listening to Coriander’s soft voice as she murmured to her kits and the snuffling of those kits as they fed. Then she looked back down at the mouse. _I’ll catch them some, too,_ she decided, and quickly ate the mouse.

It wasn’t hard to find a couple more; the barn was practically overrun with them and they had grown fat and lazy on the seeds. Soon, Heathertail had three brown mice swinging from her jaws, and she padded cautiously over to the logs that Coriander had used to get up to the loft. The jump directly up would be far too high for a cat to make, so she put out a paw and tested the first log. It was sturdy, and after another few prods, she decided it would hold her weight.

She found Coriander nestled in the hay with three kits at her belly. The calico raised her head when Heathertail approached and eyed the mice appreciatively.

“I brought you these,” Heathertail murmured, feeling oddly guilty for eating before the queen. _But this isn’t WindClan. Prey isn’t scarce. There’s enough for every cat, and I don’t need to worry about who’s eating first._

“That’s very kind, dear.” Coriander dipped her head. “The Nofurs don’t come around so much anymore.”

She dropped the mice at Coriander’s side, retreating quickly in case the queen got protective of her kits. Coriander didn’t seem worried about Heathertail, though, so Heathertail settled down a little ways from Coriander and began grooming.

Coriander ate slowly, pausing between mice to give one of the kits a brisk lick, and then looked up at Heathertail. “Would you like to meet them?”

Heathertail ducked her head shyly but Coriander seemed eager to show off her kits and stood, letting the kits detach themselves from her belly, before arranging them at her side.

“This is Dawn,” Coriander began, pointing her tail-tip to a small gray tom with fluffy ear-tufts. “Pepper.” She motioned to the calico she-kit who sat between her brothers, and then pointed her tail-tip to the largest kit, a russet tom whose chest-fur was a lighter shade of brown. “And Acorn!”

“They’re lovely.”

Coriander beamed. “Pepper looks like me, don’t you think? And Acorn got my colouring, but he has his father’s pelt.”

“Where is Smoky?” she asked.

“Out,” Coriander answered with an easy shrug. “He likes to laze about in the sun, days like these. Says the barn gets too stuffy with all of us around.”

Heathertail huffed a purr at the idea of this large barn being too stuffy with four cats in it. It felt nearly uninhabited to Heathertail. “And how old are your kits?”

“I had them six weeks ago,” Coriander told her, blinking warmly at the sleepy kits. They seemed eager to return to drinking Coriander’s milk, and the queen settled down contentedly once more. “They grow every day!”

Heathertail lay down as well, knowing her Clanmates were probably missing her but feeling more relaxed than she had in moons. Coriander didn’t seem bothered by her company; if anything, Heathertail thought the she-cat seemed a little lonely, or at least pleased to have some cat to introduce her kits to. The scent of milk, hay, and mice was so soothing that Heathertail soon felt herself drifting off.

She returned to camp around dusk, feeling the scents of the horseplace and Coriander’s family clinging to her pelt. As she padded into camp, a sort of drowsy peace settled over her, even though she knew her father would berate her for running off.

Harespring gave her a curious look as she returned, which she ignored. Onestar didn’t rebuke her, to her surprise. He didn’t even leave his den. Heathertail wasn’t sure whether he had noticed she was missing or not. Her mother offered her a rabbit to share, but Heathertail declined and curled up in her nest on the edge of camp. Her sleep didn’t come as easily as it had in the barn loft next to Coriander.

The memories of meeting Minnowtail that morning crept in, unwelcome. _There’s no excuse,_ she repeated to herself, tucking her tail tighter over her nose. For the first time since the morning, her chest began to throb with pain. _She hurt me. She doesn’t love me._

That, too, had begun to feel like a lie.

Heathertail returned to the barn the next day. Harespring hadn’t assigned her to any patrols, anway, she told herself. Kestrelflight had removed the cobweb and poultice and had told her it was healing well enough that she didn’t need a new one. Her chest still felt tight and painful, but she didn’t tell him that.

Smoky was there, that time. He stood quickly and bounded down from the loft when he saw her, not as friendly as Coriander had been. “Who are you?”

She paused in the entrance, keeping her fur flat. _He won’t tell me to leave, will he?_ Fear that she’d lose this peaceful place that she’d only just found struck her, but she dipped her head to the tom. “I’m Heathertail. I met Coriander yesterday. I’m not… er, you have lovely kits.”

Smoky straightened a little. “Oh.”

She peeked up at him. _Too much to hope that flattery might work…?_

“Well, thank you.” He shook out his fur and eyed her. “Er… I’m sorry, but are you a tom or a she-cat?”

Heathertail snorted before she could help herself, then smiled. “A she-cat.”

He nodded, still squinting at her, then turned and waved his tail to the barn like it was his territory. “Well, welcome to the barn, I suppose. There are plenty of mice if you get hungry.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Heathertail murmured. _Even a tom with young kits is so generous here… What a strange world they have, all to themselves._

“Oh, Heathertail!” Coriander called from the loft. “Come up! Dawn’s eyes changed overnight!”

She shot a look at Smoky, who shrugged and flicked his tail to the stepping-logs in a _Go for it_ gesture. She ducked her head to him, then hurried up to the loft. Coriander was giving her kits a quick grooming as if to make them presentable for Heathertail. Heathertail purred, warmth blooming her chest as the kits stared up at her with round eyes.

Dawn’s littermates still had their blurry, kit-blue eyes, but Dawn’s own gaze had turned as yellow and warm as the sunshine that reached into the barn from the spaces between the slats.

Heathertail blinked kindly at the kits, then looked back at Coriander. “What beautiful eyes.”

Coriander purred, the force of it making Dawn’s fur shiver a little. The tom-kit stretched out a clumsy paw and wobbled over to Heathertail. He stretched up and peered at her out of his newly yellow eyes.

“Hello, little Dawn,” she purred.

He sniffed her, cautious, then poked her chest with his little pink nose.

“Aww,” Heathertail cooed, and gave Dawn lick on the top of his head. Satisfied with his investigation, the tom tottered back to his mother’s belly.

“I think he likes you,” Coriander murmured, rumbling another purr and nudging Dawn closer to her belly. “They’re very shy, but I’m sure they’ll talk to you when they’ve warmed up. If you stick around, I mean.”

Heathertail blinked at Coriander. It was such an unassuming offer, but… still, the future it promised seemed so precious to Heathertail that she was answering before she thought it over. “I’d… I’d like that.”

She wasn’t sure what her plan was. As a moon passed and the wound in her chest closed with no sign of abatement from the ache in her heart, Heathertail found her paws leading her to the barn and RiverClan border more and more often. She didn’t see Minnowtail again.

She was thinking about Coriander, Smoky, and WindClan as she hunted with her mother one day. She wondered about herself. _Who am I, really? Not Onestar’s son, not Minnowtail’s mate, not a cat from the horseplace, not a ghost, not…_ She shook her head. She felt comfortable in the horseplace, certainly; more at peace and at home than she did in WindClan. But in WindClan, she still felt a certain sense of… _being_ Heathertail. The horseplace was like an escape, somewhere she could forget about who she was. On the other paw, Heathertail wasn’t sure she liked her WindClan identity at all. _Could I be someone new in the horseplace?_

“What are you thinking about?” Whitetail asked.

Heathertail blinked, shaking out her pelt. She’d put on weight since she started visiting the barn; the mice were fatter and more filling than scrawny rabbits. “Nothing, really.”  
“I’m worried about you,” Whitetail said gently a moment later, stopping. Heathertail stopped too and turned to look at her mother. Whitetail’s eyes were soft and Heathertail felt a prickle of guilt.

“Why? I’m fine.”

Whitetail blinked, and then leaned forward and rasped her tongue over her daughter’s ear. The gesture reminded Heathertail so much of Coriander and her kits that she felt tears sting her eyes. “Something’s been different about you since the battle.”

Heathertail gazed at her mother, wondering if she’d understand any of it. _I can’t tell her about Minnowtail._

“Is it Breezepelt?”

“No, Mom,” Heathertail exclaimed, shaking her head.

“I just remember you two being close…” Whitetail said, eyes clouding with sorrow as she recalled her apprentice. “We all mourn the choice he made.”

_I don’t_ , Heathertail thought mutinously. _He betrayed us all. And so did Minnowtail._ For the first time, another quiet voice piped up. _But Minnowtail was trying to protect me. She fought for RiverClan. She killed the Dark Forest she-cat that attacked me._

“You can talk to me,” Whitetail reminded me.

“I know,” Heathertail murmured.

Whitetail paused, looking searchingly at her daughter.

“What?” she asked, her fur prickling again.

Whitetail smiled sadly. “Your father wandered when he was younger, too. Never seemed to be able to hold steady to one thing. If you…” Her mother’s voice softened, and she dipped her head. “If you need to go, I understand.”

Heathertail froze. Whitetail brushed past her, and Heathertail watched her go, feeling a strange grief trembling in her chest. _She knows._ Her mother had always been the most sensitive, understanding cat in the Clan, but her intuition was almost eerie. _She knows I can’t stay here._

She caught up to her mother, heart aching. “Thank you, Mom.”

Whitetail sniffed, and then glanced at her. “I want you to be happy, Heathertail. I love you.”

As her mother took the lead, following a rabbit scent, Heathertail felt her whole body clench with a silent sob. _She understands._ It was a feeling Heathertail had been missing for a long time.

_Tails Twined_

Heathertail decided to leave on a leaf-bare morning.

There was nothing particular about it, really. It was cold, but not the coldest day they’d had. The weak sun peeked out from between clouds, as fluffy and gray as Dawn’s ear-tufts. She was accompanying Kestrelflight to harvest the last of the mallow at the edge of WindClan territory, near enough that she could see the snowy barn in the distance.

She was thinking of Coriander’s kits, Pepper’s energy and Acorn’s shyness, Dawn’s curiosity, the way they chased mice on clumsy paws and gasped as snow drifted down from StarClan. That wasn’t particular either—she found herself reminded of the three kits often. She’d caught herself hoping to mentor one of them the other day and purred at her own foolishness. Harespring had remarked it was the first time he’d heard her laugh since she’d returned from RiverClan after the battle.

“Heathertail?” Kestrelflight asked.

She glanced at him, realizing he’d finished stacking the shrivelled mallow in front of them and was now waiting for her to bring it back to camp. “Oh! Sorry.”

“What were you thinking about?” he asked as he bent to pick up the mallow.

Heathertail paused for a moment, then shrugged. “Nothing in particular.”

As they were padding back to camp, Heathertail admitted it.

“I’m going to leave WindClan.”

“ _What?!_ ” Kestrelflight’s jaw dropped open, the mallow tipping out onto the snow.

Heathertail nodded, numb to his shock. “I… I don’t really know how to explain it, but—”

“Heathertail, you’re leaving?” he exclaimed.

She smiled sadly. “Yeah, I think… I have to. When I was hurt so badly in the battle, it was like an… an old Heathertail died and… I’m not her. I don’t belong here, not anymore.”

“But—but—where are you going to go?” he finally asked, bewildered.

“The horseplace,” she said. “I’ve been visiting Coriander and Smoky there, and I’m friends with the kits. They’ve got plenty of mice, so you wouldn’t have to worry about me. Oh, Kestrelflight, I can’t stay here, don’t you see?”

He opened his jaws, shaking his head, then took a long breath and asked, “What are you going to tell your father?”

She set her jaw. “Nothing. I’m just going to go.”

Kestrelflight nodded faintly. “Oh.”

Heathertail leaned over and took the mallow he’d dropped. “C’mon.” It was the right choice, she thought. She had nothing to say to her father that she hadn’t tried to tell him a thousand times before. She knew he loved her, and perhaps she loved him too, in a complicated, painful way. _It’s time to let that all go, though. I won’t see him again._ And that brought a surge of relief that she hadn’t dared hope for in a long time.

She could feel him brimming with questions as they returned to camp, but she left the mallow in his den and then padded to the entrance. He stood next to her, staring at her as she cast her gaze aimlessly over all her Clanmates, going about their lives. They seemed like strangers to her now. The moor, every stalk of grass she’d flattened with a pawstep, burrows where rabbits had been born, lived, before they’d become a meal to her… This was somewhere she had once belonged. Now it was time to go.

“You’ve been a good friend to me, Kestrelflight,” she said softly, flicking him with her tail. “I’m sorry I can’t stay. Don’t ruin things with Harespring, alright?”

Kestrelflight huffed. “Those bones are buried.”

Heathertail smiled. “Maybe. But you can dig. He’d take a second chance if you gave it to him, you know?”

He looked at her, then nodded. “Thank you, Heathertail.”

She gave him a nudge and stood, stretching. “It’s time for me to go, I think. You can tell everyone a fox got me.”

He snorted. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Alright.” She purred, her paws feeling lighter than they had in moons. “You’ll come up with something. Think of me fondly.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’ll still nearly be on our territory.”

“That’s true. You can visit me, if you like, but if Onestar turns up demanding I return to fulfill his personal prophecy, I’ll line my new nest with your pelt.”

Kestrelflight huffed. “I wouldn’t.”

“Bye, Kestrelflight.”

“Goodbye, Heathertail.” He watched her cross the camp, as casual and carefree as if she was merely going out to hunt on her own.

_I’ll be hunting on my own forever now, I guess_ , she thought as she pushed through the heather. The flowers shed their pollen onto her pelt one last time. _Then again, even if they’re not my apprentices, I can teach Dawn, Pepper, and Acorn to hunt._ She thought of the way Pepper charged back and forth across the barn, haring after mice and occasionally a leaf stirred up by wind. _StarClan knows they could use some technique._

Smoky greeted her when she arrived at the snowy barn. He had been around more during leaf-bare, once there was no more sunshine outside to laze about in. When he realized Heathertail wasn’t going anywhere soon, it seemed to Heathertail that he’d begun to think of her as one of his own kits.

“Come in, you’ll catch a cold,” he grumbled as she stepped through the snow.

She submitted to being herded indoors, feeling some of the frost clinging to her fur melt in the shelter of the barn.

“Heathertail!” Pepper shrieked, hurtling across the barn toward her.

Heathertail yelped as she was tackled by the kit, then wrestled her playfully as Pepper tried to pin her. “Careful with my old bones.”

Dawn and Acorn soon joined their sister in bringing Heathertail down. _They could use a little fighting training, too,_ Heathertail thought as she knocked away Dawn’s clumsy attempt to box her ears. _The barn’s safe, but once they start exploring, they’ll need to know how to defend themselves._

“Don’t play too roughly!” Coriander chided them, coming down from the loft.

“Mom!” Dawn exclaimed, ducking away from Coriander’s grooming. The kits had grown tall, though they still hadn’t properly filled out their frames and had paws too big for their bodies.

Heathertail purred and nudged Dawn, who continued trying to dodge Coriander’s tongue. “You barn cats are too fierce.”

Pepper stretched up, puffing her chest out. “I’m fierce!”

“Very fierce,” Heathertail agreed, then looked over the kit’s head at Coriander. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Of course.”

Smoky swapped in to be wrestled by his kits and Coriander and Heathertail padded up to the loft. They settled down in the hay and Coriander looked down warmly at her mate and kits.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to stay,” Heathertail finally admitted.

“Of course, dear!” Coriander purred. “You can stay with us any time.”

Heathertail faltered. “I… I mean… permanently. I feel more at home here than I do in WindClan. And you and Smoky have been so kind…” She froze, suddenly doubting herself. _Did I just make a terrible misjudgement? What if they kick me out? Am I going to have to go back to WindClan with my tail between my legs?_

Coriander rumbled a purr and leaned over to rest her chin on Heathertail’s head. “We’d love to have you. I’m sure the kits would be delighted to hear their big sister is staying now.”

“Big sister?” Heathertail echoed, her voice rasping as she felt a raw sort of vulnerability swelling in her.

Coriander blinked warmly. “Yes, well, since you’ve started coming around more often… I think we’ve all sort of started to think of you as part of the family.”  
Heathertail opened her jaws but her throat felt too tight to say anything. Instead, she pressed her fur to Coriander’s and began to purr. _I don’t know who exactly horsplace-Heathertail is,_ she decided. _And I don’t know if my heart will stop aching here. But this is more of a home than WindClan is._

She was surprised by how easily she slotted into life in the horseplace. It wasn’t much different than spending a day with them, after all. She played with Dawn, Acorn, and Pepper, hunted for Coriander, and told Smoky stories about WindClan. She couldn’t quite lay a certain pain in her chest to rest, but she wasn’t surrounded by strangers anymore. She didn’t have to meet Onestar’s expectant gaze, or grieve for all the cats she hadn’t gotten a chance to know, or fight their useless battles.

True to his word, Kestrelflight didn’t tell every cat where she’d gone; no WindClan cats came looking for her. He himself did visit in new-leaf, though, or spring as Smoky and Coriander called it.

“You look well,” he said as he arrived, shaking the snow-melt dampness from his pelt.

Heathertail bounded down the loft to greet him, rubbing her muzzle along his. “I am. The mice have fattened me up.”

“Mice?” Kestrelflight swiped his tongue over his jaws, his eyes sparkling.

He spent sunhigh with them, catching a mouse for himself and introducing himself to Coriander and the kits. Smoky kept his distance, seeming a little suspicious of the new cat, but when Kestrelflight disappeared for a little bit and returned with dock for Acorn’s tender pads, the grizzled loner warmed right up.

Heathertail stood outside with Acorn and Pepper, waving her tail in farewell to Kestrelflight when he told them it was time for him to return to WindClan. Dawn had drifted off for an early nap.

Kestrelflight paused at the edge of the path, between the barn and WindClan. For a moment, Heathertail thought he might ask her to come back. But all he said was, “You seem happier, Heathertail. I’m glad.”  
Heathertail dipped her head. “Thanks, Kestrelflight. I hope you’re happy too.”

Kestrelflight paused, and looked up at the blue new-leaf sky. Then he twitched an ear. “I’m trying.”

She nodded and watched him leave with the kits at her side.

As she turned to usher the kits back into the barn, she caught a pair of eyes peering at her out of a bush from RiverClan territory. Her treacherous heart leapt, and Heathertail froze.

They disappeared a moment later. She let out a shaky breath.

“Are you okay?” Pepper piped up.

“I’m fine. Let’s go back inside; it’s time for your naps,” she told them, shaking out her pelt.

“I’m not tired!” Pepper exclaimed.

Heathertail huffed. “I am.”

The last of the snow melted and Heathertail saw no more signs of Minnowtail until one morning when Smoky padded into the barn, looking disgruntled.

“Another Clan cat’s been sniffing around,” he grunted when she shot him an inquisitive look. “No offense. She was as skittish as a moth when I asked her what she was looking for.”

Heathertail couldn’t help herself. “A dark gray she-cat with white chest-fur? And eyes the colour of honey?”

Smoky shot her a look. “What? Well, yes. Were you two... _friends?_ ”

Heathertail swallowed. “That’s a long story.”

“Hmm.” He stretched, then padded off to lap up water from the barrel. A moment later, he raised his head and eyed her. “If you ever need some cat to hear it, I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

She snorted. “Thanks—Smoky.” Then she cleared her throat. He shot her another look. Her ears burned. “What?”

“You just sounded like you were…” He squinted, then shrugged and jumped back down from the barrel. “Nevermind.”

She cleared her throat again and pretended to be very focused on scenting the air for mice. Smoky padded out into the new-leaf sunshine and Heathertail shook out her pelt. _Well, so what if I was going to call him ‘Dad?’ Coriander said they were thinking of me as part of the family._

As much as that filled a place in her chest with warmth, Heathertail still found herself joining Smoky at the edge of the path, looking into RiverClan territory.

“I’ll tell you sometime,” she mumbled, then tucked her paws under her chest. “Just not today.”

_Tails Twined_

Minnowtail arrived properly about a moon after Heathertail told Smoky the story.

A great deal changed in that time; Acorn began styling himself as Acorntail, then finally confessed ‘he’ was a she-cat, in the same way as Heathertail. Pepper caught her first squirrel, proud as a peacock. Heathertail didn’t have the heart to tell her it was only a chipmunk. Dawn appointed himself deputy of the barn.

Dawn and Acorntail were on ‘sunhigh patrol,’ a quick loop around the barn and back in time to share tongues with their family, when they found her.

“Heathertail! One of your friends is here!” Dawn yowled.

Heathertail snapped out of her half-sleep. She’d just finished grooming herself rather vigorously. _Kestrelflight?_ she wondered, and stood, shaking the hay free of her fur, and stretched.

_Not Kestrelflight,_ was the first thought Heathertail’s mind saw fit to form when she spotted her.

Minnowtail stood in the entrance of the barn, the tips of her gray fur turned to gold by the sunshine. Her gaze, with all the warmth and life that Heathertail remembered, found hers immediately and stayed there, even as she seemed to almost sag with relief at the sight of Heathertail.

Still up on the loft, Heathertail froze. _She’s here._ It had been long enough that Heathertail had gotten very, very good at burying the ache in her heart. When she saw Minnowtail, it came roaring back.

“Minnowtail,” she managed softly, her paws already in motion to bring her down the stairs toward her.

“You’re safe,” Minnowtail whispered.

Heathertail paused at the base of the stairs, needing to keep her distance. “Why are you here?”

Minnowtail shook her head in a small motion, as if she simply couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “I thought… you weren’t at the Gatherings. No cat said anything, but…”

She had hardly considered what Minnowtail would think when Heathertail disappeared from WindClan’s ranks. Part of leaving for the horseplace had been to not consider Minnowtail much at all.

“I left,” Heathertail said simply.

Minnowtail nodded.

Dawn and Acorntail seemed oblivious. Dawn fluffed up his tail and squinted at Minnowtail. “Should I throw out the intruder, Heathertail?”

She took a deep breath, looked away from Minnowtail’s ever-magnetic gaze. Then she said, “No. I think we need to talk.”

Which was how Heathertail and Minnowtail ended up sitting on the roof of the barn, watching the sun dip below the trees. Minnowtail didn’t say anything for a long time, so Heathertail was the one to finally break their silence.

“Why did you come looking for me?”  
“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not angry.”

Minnowtail peeked at her out of the corner of her eye, then huffed and set her chin down on her paws. Heathertail stayed upright, looking out over RiverClan and WindClan territory.

“I missed you,” Minnowtail eventually said, not looking at her. “And I couldn’t bear to think you still hated me. If… if you do, then I’ll find a way to live with it. I guess I have to. But I didn’t want to leave it alone if there was a chance…”

“If there was a chance of what?”

“If there was a chance it didn’t have to be this way.”

Heathertail considered that. She didn’t hate Minnowtail. She was scared, more than anything; scared that Minnowtail would hurt her again, or disappear, or get hurt herself. Wasn’t it easier to just stay away? Wouldn’t it hurt less, in the long run? Her heart thumped painfully in her chest at being so close to Minnowtail again without… without truly being close. Each beat seemed to say, _No, no, no, it wouldn’t. No, it isn’t._

“RiverClan will be missing you, won’t they?” Heathertail finally said as the sun disappeared beneath the trees and the world was snuffed out into dusk.

Minnowtail shrugged her shoulders, still not moving. “Maybe. I… I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t belong there anymore.”

Heathertail held her breath.

“Like part of me died in the Great Battle,” Minnowtail whispered, and finally turned her amber-honey gaze back to Heathertail. “And what was left was missing you.”

Heathertail’s throat tightened, but she admitted, “I felt the same way.”

“Then…” Minnowtail breathed. “Then what?”

It wasn’t a demand, Heathertail thought. There was no expectation behind it; just two paths splitting out ahead. An offer. “Then don’t go back to RiverClan. Stay here with me.”

Minnowtail’s eyes rounded. “Forever? I… As friends?”

Heathertail dipped her head. This felt like something very fragile; something she would need to be very cautious with. She felt as though she was stepping onto the lake in late leaf-fall, expecting a thin crust of ice to support her weight. _Then I’ll be careful, and I’ll test as I go. If the ice starts to crack…_

It was too easy for Heathertail to remember a night just like this one, on an island, surrounded by the Clans, where Minnowtail spat at her. Broke her heart. _I’ll be careful,_ she promised herself.

“You can say your goodbyes, of course…” Heathertail began tentatively. Minnowtail struck that down with one firm shake of her head.

“I have no one to say goodbye to.”

“Your brother?”

Minnowtail’s eyes darkened, sorrowful, and she quietly said, “Pebblefoot drowned seasons ago. There’s no one left for me.”

Heathertail found it was only too easy to press her muzzle to Minnowtail’s. _The only cat who’s ever truly, truly understood,_ she thought. “I’m so sorry.”

Minnowtail nodded. They stayed in silence for a while, until Heathertail finally said,

“C’mon, then. I’ll get you settled in. Coriander will be happy to have more company, and Smoky will warm up to you.”

All of a sudden, it felt like the most natural thing in the world, being up in the barn with Minnowtail, the kits she’d helped raise slumbering beneath, in a place where Heathertail wasn’t chosen for anything. A place where she could choose for herself.

“I’ll catch you a mouse,” Heathertail offered.

“Mouse?” Minnowtail wrinkled her nose delicately and Heathertail suppressed a purr, wondering what it would be like to share a den with a cat as fussy as Minnowtail.

“You get used to it.”

She did. They both did, she supposed. Minnowtail threw herself into the life of the horseplace enthusiastically, patrolling with Dawn and showing Pepper and Smoky how to fish in the stream nearby. Pepper didn’t have the patience for it, but Smoky seemed quite pleased with himself when he returned to the barn with a few minnows. Soon enough, it felt like just another part of life; Minnowtail next to her as they slept. Always a careful tail-length away. Heathertail was careful indeed, and never let herself slip and get too close, no matter what the most ill-advised parts of her heart pleaded with her to do. The gaping wound between them had not closed, but somehow… with Minnowtail back beside her, Heathertail began to think that it was possible the infection had lost its grip, and that healing was possible.

Coriander was in fact the slowest to acclimate to Minnowtail. She had been present when Heathertail had explained her whole history with the RiverClan she-cat to Smoky. Coriander was a kind, loving cat, Heathertail thought, but once her mind was made up, it was made up. After hearing the tremble in Heathertail’s voice as she spoke of how Minnowtail had broken her heart, and seen the way her tail dragged around behind her after reliving it all… Coriander kept her distance from Minnowtail.

As much as Heathertail hoped the barn she-cat would warm up to Minnowtail, she couldn’t deny that she, too, had been keeping a distance of her own. Certainly not the chilly cordiality that Coriander employed with Minnowtail, but given how close Heathertail and Minnowtail had once been…

Heathertail decided it was time for the wound to heal. The sun had just come up on one of the first new-leaf mornings of the year when Heathertail tracked Minnowtail down.

“Hey,” Minnowtail greeted her. _How easy it is,_ Heathertail thought. _How precious, to be so close._ Was it greedy to want more?

Heathertail dipped her head. “Come up to the loft with me.”

Coriander had been ensnared in a patrol by her kits, and the two she-cats had the loft to themselves. Minnowtail no longer wrinkled her nose at the smell of hay. Still, Heathertail picked the spot where it was sweetest and sat, tucking her paws under her chest. Minnowtail kept upright.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Heathertail began cautiously. Minnowtail sensed her tone, amber eyes gleaming with worry. “And I just want an honest answer.”

“Alright.”

In that moment, Heathertail faintly became aware that she had not seen a hint of Minnowtail’s persona in all the time she had been at the horseplace. Even with the kits, Smoky, and Coriander, Minnowtail had remained the more truthful, relaxed version of herself. Heathertail tucked that away to consider more later.

“Why did you train in the Dark Forest?”

Minnowtail’s throat bobbed as she contemplated her answer. Heathertail kept her breathing even, knowing she didn’t want to react harshly to whatever Minnowtail would tell her. The gray and white she-cat shrugged. “Why does it matter now?”

“It matters to me,” Heathertail murmured. She wasn’t sure either, but a test of whether Minnowtail would be willing to be honest with something as sensitive to both of them as this… perhaps Heathertail would be able to properly judge how much she could trust Minnowtail now.

Minnowtail nodded and swallowed again. “Alright.”

They were quiet for a moment, and then Minnowtail laid down on the hay next to her. Again, Heathertail kept her gaze wandering over the logs that made the wall of the barn. Minnowtail’s flanks rose and fell against her.

“Ever since I was a kit…” Minnowtail began, then cut herself off with a snort. “That sounds silly.”

Heathertail said nothing.

“I…” Minnowtail cleared her throat. “Her name…” She snorted again. “A she-cat named Robinflight came to me in a dream and offered me all the attention I could ever want. Because… that’s what I thought I wanted. Even when I was a kit, I acted out, I drank _poison_ for StarClan’s sake, just to… just to make sure eyes were fixed on me, that some cat still cared whether I existed.”

Heathertail darted a look at Minnowtail, who took a steadying breath and continued.

“So I said yes. I trained with her for moons, until I was the fastest, strongest among the apprentices, then the Clan. I clawed up the ranks of the Dark Forest until the most brutal, savage, disgusting cats knew my name. Knew who I was, and _adored_ me.” She nearly spat the last part. “I didn’t care who was giving me the attention, so long as it was some cat. RiverClan wasn’t enough, so I moved on to that filthy, disgusting place.”

_The Place of No Stars._ Heathertail hadn’t heard it spoken of in many moons. The barn wasn’t the sort of place where they contemplated the eternal punishment of monsters.

“And… it wasn’t enough,” Minnowtail said simply. “Because it was never enough. Robinflight knew my attention was wandering, and knew that you were becoming more important to me than the battle and the code. She said that if I didn’t take one of Mistystar’s lives myself, she’d kill you.” Minnowtail’s nearly dead tone flickered to life at that. “I couldn’t kill Mistystar, and I couldn’t let you die. So I thought that if I shoved you away and made Robinflight believe I didn’t love you anymore…”

_And it didn’t work,_ Heathertail thought, almost numb to the memories of Minnowtail’s lie at the Gathering. Almost.

“You know what happened next,” Minnowtail murmured.

“I do,” Heathertail agreed, then said, “But what happened after the battle? You said you felt… felt _dead_. Why did you come to the horseplace?”

Minnowtail nodded as if she’d been expecting the question. “Well, here’s the thing about betraying all your living Clanmates and having all your dead Clanmates be killed. You don’t get much attention anymore.” She huffed a cold purr. “Losing it all, it was like some… massive wound on my soul, festering and threatening my life.”

Heathertail nodded. That was a feeling she knew.

“And I guess my options were to wait for the infection to kill me, or… learn to live without every cat tripping over themselves for my attention,” Minnowtail mumbled.

“And then…?”

“Well, I’m not dead.”

Heathertail nodded again. “I see. So you went looking for me again.”

“Not for attention,” Minnowtail was quick to promise her. “I didn’t… I knew you didn’t… I…”

“I understand,” Heathertail murmured.

“No! No, I need you to know,” Minnowtail shook her head fiercely, “that you were more than some desperate bid for attention. Robinflight was wrong about everything but that. You were more important than any other leverage she had over me.”

“I suppose we’re all lucky you didn’t murder Mistystar then,” Heathertail joked, that old WindClan instinct of dodging away from any raw, honest conversation coming back out.

Minnowtail huffed. “You have no idea.”

Heathertail shot her a look and Minnowtail shrugged.

“It was an impossible choice, but… even then, I knew you would come first,” Minnowtail said, plain as a clear sky.

“I don’t want you to kill someone over me,” Heathertail told her.

Minnowtail purred and nudged her, and for a moment, Heathertail thought she could see the star shower again. Then the moment passed.

“I’m glad you don’t need… all that, anymore,” Heathertail said. “And I’m glad you didn’t kill anyone.”

“Me too.”

_Tails Twined_

Again, it was Dawn who brought Heathertail the news. She was just drinking from the rain barrel when Dawn hared through the entrance of the barn, breathless.

“Heathertail! Come quick, Mom got attacked! By the pear tree.”

An old jolt of anticipation for combat shot through Heathertail, who jumped off the rim of the barrel and bolted past Dawn, out into the green-leaf sun. She scented the fox before she saw it.

Coriander was running, ungainly and already out of breath, away from the pear tree with the fox’s slavering jaws hot on her heels. Not even pausing to think about what she was risking with no medicine cat around, Heathertail shot between them and crashed into the fox, knocking it to the ground.

It growled and yipped as they tumbled, and without missing a beat, Heathertail raked her back paws down its sensitive belly. It squealed and tore itself free, before gathering itself to leap on Heathertail. Fear lanced through her as she caught up with just how large the vixen was; broad-shouldered and at least twice as long as Heathertail, with thick, bristly fur that turned aside the blows of her paws without so much as a scratch.

It leapt onto her.

This time, Heathertail was the one to wail with pain as she landed hard on her side. More than the physical pain, feeling the sheer strength of the fox’s body against hers was enough to make her despair. _I can’t fight it off! I’m one cat, I don’t have a patrol or any trained warriors to back me up._ She writhed, only barely escaping a devastating bite from the fox.

Then, another yowl split the air. For a moment, she thought it was Coriander, but then she saw daylight as the vixen was dragged off her.

“Minnowtail!” she gasped, springing to her paws.

The last time she had seen Minnowtail fight, it was from the unfortunate position of nearly bleeding to death on the ground in RiverClan territory. This time, fully conscious and upright, she couldn’t help losing a moment in marvel at her sheer, brutal skill. She fought like a diving hawk, swooping in and raking welling red scratches down its muzzle, then leaping clear of the fox’s blow. _No,_ Heathertail realized. _Not like a hawk. She’s fishing._

She recognized the way her elegant paw flashed out in a movement promising death, then hooked back before her prey had a chance to escape or retaliate. Heathertail shook off the pain that sang through her, and leapt at the fox as well.

Coriander might be safe, but she was fighting for Minnowtail now.

They fought until Heathertail was sure they would need to kill the fox just to get it to back off. But finally, the vixen shook her triangular head to clear the dizziness from Heathertail’s blow, and then with a last growl at them, bounded back off into the forest with her thick tail hanging between her legs.

Minnowtail gasped a relieved breath, and then looked back at Heathertail with an almost panicked glint in her eye.

“I’m okay,” Heathertail rasped.

“No, you’re bleeding.” Minnowtail hurried to her side and pressed her pelt against hers, supporting her. As Heathertail’s taller, bonier shoulder slid into the hollow of Minnowtail’s chest, she couldn’t shake a feeling that this was right in a way that nothing had been for Heathertail in a very long time. Maybe ever.

They limped back to the barn together, and Heathertail paused just outside, in the shadow of the overhanging roof.

“Do you remember…” Heathertail began quietly, remembering another night when they’d sat there, supporting each other, the tang of blood thick in the air.

“Yes,” Minnowtail murmured.

Heathertail pulled herself off Minnowtail with some effort, and gingerly eased herself onto the earth. Minnowtail joined her, and when her offering look was met with a nod, began grooming Heathertail’s ragged pelt.

There was something so soothing about another cat taking care of her, that Heathertail couldn’t help lowering her chin to her paws and closing her eyes, a contented purr rumbling in her chest.

Heathertail wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Minnowtail stopped. She raised her head, shooting the she-cat a questioning look, and then froze when she saw the look in Minnowtail’s eyes.

“Heathertail, I…” Minnowtail rasped.

Once again, she held her breath.

Minnowtail swallowed hard, but forged ahead. “I have to tell you. Say the word and I’ll never mention it again. I’ll go back to RiverClan, you don’t ever have to see me again, but…”

A long sigh left Heathertail at the words, like a breath she’d been holding for moons.

“I love you. I never really stopped.”

Minnowtail’s lip trembled, but she continued. “I hurt you, I… I’ll never stop being sorry. But I need to know, because if there’s ever any chance of you forgiving me… I need you to know that I’ll always be here. I’ll always love you.”

Heathertail breathed deeply, and answered, “I do. I forgive you, and you hurt me, but I would have done the same to keep you safe.”

Minnowtail’s eyes became very, very wide.

“And I love you.”

As Minnowtail let out a sigh of relief, so sudden and swamping that she nearly trembled with it, Heathertail felt the last little wound in her heart seal up. The Great Battle finally laid to rest, she looked out at the horseplace before them, then at the entrance to the barn. A world away from expectations, with each other. A lifetime. She wouldn’t have thought she deserved it.

Minnowtail’s eyes shone as she looked at Heathertail. “You’re real, right? I’m not dreaming?”

“Yes. No,” Heathertail answered, then let out a _mrrow_ of amusement. “I’m here and I’m not going to leave, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me.”

Minnowtail pressed her pelt to Heathertail, her perfect pelt ruffled with injuries. Heathertail felt her heartbeat. “Good.”

* * *

_Past loves linger like phantom limbs / I cut straight to the heart / I don't believe the pretty little things that you say—I've heard a lot of little pretty things / Don't buy me flowers, it pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And she's finished! Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and commenting. Both of these projects have been enormously time-consuming (for one-shots) and the amount of support has just blown me away.
> 
> Anyway. Done but not forgotten, and I'm considering writing a 'coda' kind of part to both this and Turning Tail (from the perspectives of Minnowtail and Kestrelflight.)
> 
> And lastly, please leave me a comment! If you've made it to the end, I love you.
> 
> ~Akila


End file.
